Chapter 22: Crashing Hearts

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KJ came running in the room crying to me so I just picked him up holding him as Chris came back telling KJ don't cry man you going see me next week I promise. He said you going be a big boy and be strong until I see you. Your  a man aren't you

KJ:: Yea

Chris: Men don't cry

KJ: Yes they do your lying to make me feel better but it's not working Chris. I don't want you to leave me  again

Chris: Little man don't make me cry now but I have to go, ok I love you. Give me kiss, I going see you later alright . KJ said ok as he gave him a kiss on the cheek then he said bye Chris I'm going miss you. He walked out of the apartment as my brother followed him down stairs. Terry carried him to the airport and KJ just balled out cry for hours. I couldn't stop him at all and it made me feel even worse about the situation. He finally fall sleep in the bed next too me so I covered him up and left the room. My choices are tiring my son apart and I felt so guilty about everything. I felt guilty about being so emotional all the time and not checking in with him.I just went outside and sat down by the steps looking down at the cars past and the street. A car pulled up and it was Dion and Omar. He looked at me all smiles as he walked up the steps.

Dion: Mjay what's good my nigga

Me: Where you two just popping up from since last ought at the club

Dion: Went back to his hotel room and we was just talking. We worked things out and we back together trying this thing out again
I didn't really get a chance I was on a mission.

Omar: Yea we are but Mjay where everyone else at I want say hi and good bye since last night. It was a good atmosphere.

Me;  Oh shit  yea I forgot you two  driving back today as I looked on sad. Well it was fun to have you over I might come see you next. Well catch up in Miami next week though but this week here is my first official week of school. I'm excited to get busy as I started to laugh so I can keep my mind off everything else going on in the world.

Dion: Where Chris and Terry?

Me: Terry went to go drop Chris to the airport because he saying he leaving a little early.

Dion: I thought you two went on a date last night? It went sour I guess he said as he looked on confused.

Me: Well the date was going good until Jason popped up and now he here trying to confess his love telling me he made a mistake.

Dion: To be honest I'm surprised Jason even made it as far as he did with you. He was a great guy but even I know Chris is your soulmate. See how long it took me to realize that but now I do. You can't get in between something like that cause you two love run  deep as shit. It almost look weird seeing you two away from each other for so long. Take time for you though as he laughed. Get your dick wet for now and live life be happy. Finding happiness in someone is awesome but the true happiness is when you don't need anyone to make you happy. That's the true happiness there when it comes from within and you can make yourself feel loved. Just give it time my friend things will eventually work itself out like a math problem.

Omar: Yea don't force it Mjay things will work out just fine.

We stayed out there talking for like and hour as Chris texted my phone telling me he boarding  his flight he'll see me later. He was texting to check up on KJ and it just clear that  there bond is just as tight as the one we had or have. He said he loved me then he turned his phone off before he could read mine. The message was still there on iMessage with out the delivered stamp on the message but I said it back cause in all honesty I do. I'll call him when he reach. Jason texted me then he said I guess you aren't coming and I answered back no I'm not. I thought about it then I said yea I'm coming what's your room number at the hotel. I took a shower then got dressed as KJ still was knocked out sleep. Terry reach back the same time so I told him to watch his nephew for me until I get back home. Dion, Omar and Nate  ride with me as I drove to the hotel where Jason was staying at.

I begin to get nervous as I jumped out of my car as I looked at Nate in the front seat. He looked at me with this worried face as he said do you want me to come with you? I told him naw I got to handle this on my own as he told me to shake off the nerves. I went into the hotel and as I headed for the elevator I told him I was coming up to the room. When I got to his floor and room number he just looked at me as he pulled the door open before I could knock. He hugged me then he said thanks for coming as I went into the room. He was shirtless and his bag was packed as it looked like he was getting ready to leave. He told me to sit down as I did on the bed and he then said I missed you Mjay.

Jason: I missed you a lot Mjay and I really wish we can work this out. I know I made a big ass mistake and then the video getting posted on My Vidster. Shit just got messed up and I got super confused and thought I was losing you anyway so I mice well go back to my ex. I realize when I was home you were the one for me and I couldn't see myself with no one else. I can't let a year go to waste and I hope you feel the exact same towards me. I love you Mjay I really do

Me: Jason I really love you too and I'm going to  be honest I miss you like hell. I missed you so much when you left but I think we should remain friends. I'm going be real with you all this back and forth with Chris then it starting with you. I'm not doing that anymore, any of it! I'm going to focus on me and only me as I continue with school. I got to try make a better life for my son and I cause this shit is affecting him. My sexuality is affecting him and that's not right at all. He cried his eyes out when you left and he cried his eyes out when Chris left today. I can't keep  doing this to him and I mean  that. Besides you know what you were doing when you first broke up with me so be a man and live with your choice. I'm in love with two guys and so are you. It's better if we just be friends right now and save us both heart break.

Jason: I'm heart broken now as he put his head down. He then said I totally understand what you saying and I think we so selfish about our feelings we totally forgot about the little guy that's have to deal with these different guys being around. I'm sorry! Yea if I can't have you as my lover then I can deal with friends and it's  going to be hard but I can try. You a great guy Mjay and I hope in the future if we ever get back together it be something filled with more love and happiness then ever.

I got up out the bed getting ready to leave then he said I got to check out and head back to the airport to go home. We both walked out the room  the same time. I waited with him as he checked out then i asked him if he needed a ride to the airport.

Jason: Naw I still got the rental to go  check in then I'll take the shuttle to the airport but thanks for asking.. How are the guys though I miss them he  said as we walked  out in the parking lot.

Dion: Yo Jason what's up nigga

Jason: Dion what's up  bro and Nate that's you as we walked to my car. Dion  got out and gave him a hug  and so did Nate

Nate: It's good to see you white boy

Jason : Here you go with this white boy shit as they started to  laugh then he said Omar how's it  going. Why didn't you bring KJ I would've liked to see him and tell him I'm sorry for leaving out like that.

Me: I'll call you and let you talk to him when  I get home if your not already not already on the plane as yet.

Jason: When you guys  come home for spring break we will catch up but I got  to go catch my flight and get back to work. Take care fellas as he hugged everyone and then I walked him to his car. He put his bag in then he said thanks for an awesome year Mjay I love you and probably always will. I can't  never forget the good times that we had together cause I never  had anything like it yet. I see why Chris  fight so hard for you and I was lucky to get a taste of all of you as we laughed. He gave me a hug then a kiss on my forehead then he said take care myself. Jason's got in the care  then he  pulled off and I got into mine then took Dion and Omar back home so they could get on there way back to school.

When we got home we walked those two to Dion's car then he said you guys aren't going cry are you. You going see us next week remember and I'm always going be driving down here to bother you  guys.

Nate: of course as we laughed then he said   You niggas drive safe. We all hugged it out then they pulled off. We sat on the  step just talking again enjoying the afternoon. Suddenly Terry came outside panicking then he said there has been a plane crash and he can't get through to Chris phone.

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