Psycho

Day 5

It was another day, and I just lay in my bed. I wasn't sure what day it even was. Tuesday? The 7th? How long have I been here? When did I go missing? Was anyone looking for me? My thoughts were consuming me, and all I wanted was at least some peace.

I heard the door open, the tray sat, and then the door closed. I felt no motivation to get up though. I was starving and going crazy, but I didn't want to move.

"You need to eat."

"What's the point?"

"Take your pill!"

"What's the point?"

"Don't hurt yourself."

"He hurts you with no problem, why should you care if you hurt more?"

"Don't do this."

I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned, flipping to face the window and my back to the tray. Today, I would listen to the other side. What has listening to the first one ever done? I'm still here, I'm still miserable. I might as well take the other route, maybe it will get me out of here quicker.

"Stop thinking like that! You don't want this!"

"You don't want any of this!"

"You know this is wrong!"

"It's all wrong, everything is wrong!"

A tear slid down my cheek as my mind battled itself. It wouldn't stop, and it felt like hours as I lay there, waiting for a side to win.

"Katie?" His voice called softly. I didn't even hear the door open or close. I didn't hear his footsteps. All I heard was that voice. The only one I heard these days that wasn't in my head.

There was a pause as I waited for him to speak again. He knows I won't respond. "You haven't eaten...or taken your pill."

I know. And I probably won't. But he doesn't have to know that.

I heard movement. Different sounds happening at once along with footsteps. There was then weight put down on the other side of the bed, the clanking sound as well. He brought the tray to the bed.

"I know you're awake. And I know you want to give your body what it needs. Just eat and take the pill," he directed.

"Nows your chance! Eat! Take your pill!"

"Don't cave in!"

"Do it!"

"Don't do it!"

I let out a shaky breath and continued to lay there. I couldn't face him.

"Maybe you aren't hungry right now. That's okay...I'll just leave it here for when you are," he said, still sitting. "But it is getting closer to lunch time, so your lunch will be brought to you soon."

I gulped, waiting for him to leave. My anxiety just seemed to rise with him here. "Okay...I'll leave you alone. Just please...eat. Take your pill. Please," he begged, almost reading my mind.

The weight was lifted from the bed and his footsteps followed before the sound of the door opening and closing.

I waited a minute before I slowly turned over and saw the tray still sitting there. My stomach grumbled and I realized how hungry I was. Not to mention my heart was racing and I was feeling more suffocated than usual.

I took the toast and fruit, looking around and finding a spot. I then took the orange juice and poured it until there was nothing left. Finally, I grabbed the pill I stared at it before tossing it with the toast and fruit.

I stared at the the drawer that was empty and now filled with my breakfast and pill, my eyes moving to the sink as well where the orange juice had went.

I walked back and moved the tray back to the table near the door before laying back in bed. My stomach continued to grumble and I took a deep breath. I wasn't listening anymore, not to the logical side.

So I waited until the door opened and closed again, the sound of the tray as well.

I stood up and walked over to my lunch. Peanut butter and jelly, an apple, and a glass of water. I took it all and did the same as I did with my breakfast. Stashed the food in the drawer and dumped the water down the drain.

I took a deep breath as I lay back in bed, my stomach grumbling again.

"Your food and pill is all there! Get it!"

"No! Be strong!"

"It's not too late to do the right thing!"

"There is no right thing."