My Love

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Even if he was in the right mental state to explore the contents of the flash drive, he wasn't able to, not for a while, due to the immense funeral arrangements he was forced to plan. At some point, when sitting at Joe's kitchen table and falling into a break down, Iris and Wally had taken over the remaining duties.

It came out beautifully, he assumed. He didn't take much notice to it. Barry's head remained low for the entirety of the funeral. He arrived, he took his assigned seat in the front, and he watched his feet tap impatiently against the carpet. He didn't want to be there. Being there was a final goodbye to her. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I wonder what she's dressed in," whispered Cisco in his ear. He and Caitlin had claimed the seats behind Barry.

"I told Iris to put her in my S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt. She loved that thing... She would wear it until it stopped smelling like me, then let me wear it for a few days, just to get the smell back," he mumbled.

"That's a very fitting outfit, Barry," said Caitlin, "you did a wonderful job here."

He shrugged. "Yeah. I guess."

Harry and Jesse joined the second row of seats.

"It's a beautiful photo," said Harry.

Barry raised his head high enough to see the photo propped beside the closed casket. He lowered it as soon as he saw it. His eyes slammed shut to catch the tears. The funeral hadn't started, and already, he was struggling to withhold his sadness.

"I took that one," he heard Cisco saying quietly, "I always took pictures of them when they weren't looking. I think everyone did, once we found out..."

"I know I did," smiled Caitlin.

"Iris asked us for pictures. I gave her all I had, and... She chose that one, I guess."

She was sitting in her computer chair. There was a cup of hot chocolate between her hands. She had been about to lift it to her lips, when Barry appeared, and he kissed the top of her head. Her eyes were squeezed shut with surprise. Her lips were in a bright, wide smile. Her shoulders were raised a bit, as they always were when she giggled.

"She was beautiful when she laughed," said Barry.

"That she was," sighed another voice.

Barry's head raised. His heart rightfully shattered. Seeing a member of her family tempted him to scream it to the world: her loss was his fault. He wanted to admit the lie they compacted on her cause of death wasn't true.

Joe's hand laid on Barry's shoulder, silencing him. "It's not what she would want," was all he needed to say for the urge to stop.

"Mind if I sit?" wondered Dylan.

"It's all yours."

Dylan glanced behind him. "S.T.A.R. Labs?" he asked.

"That would account for four of us," said Caitlin.

"I don't know if you remember me, Dyl, but I used to come over a lot," said Iris.

"Oh, I do. The tormenting lives on," he said, offering a smile, "well, it's nice to meet you all again. You guys were her life. She loved being with you all."

"Where's your family at?" asked Cisco.

"Peter and David are trying to get Maeve to calm down outside. Derek and Jen were finding a parking space when Mom and I got here. Mom went to the bathroom for a second," said Dylan. He frowned. "She's, uh, well... Taking it as well as you think she is."

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