17 | spike

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s p i k e


Spike's funeral was unlike any I'd ever seen before, if only because it seemed so ritualistic and strange compared to the ones I saw back in the human world. It was familiar, at first – Jed oversaw the whole service as I stood by his side and Adrian standing on his other, Lance several feet away holding a distraught Lorraine who couldn't stop sobbing throughout. Brutus, Giles and two other guys carried Spike's casket to the front of the square.

Then Adrian said some words – telling everyone how Spike had been found several miles from the city. He'd been ambushed in his car and he didn't even have the chance to shift. He didn't stand a chance against the rogues from Prometheus. Some people came forward to give eulogies and others came forward to place flowers while a red-eyed Lance weakly joked about how Spike would've completely hated it had he still been alive.

Jed was silent throughout, and I didn't think anyone else noticed the way he was barely keeping himself together. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were stoically, emotionlessly fixed on where Spike lay in the casket and he didn't move throughout the whole service.

And I didn't hold his hand or touch him or even move closer to him because, sometimes, comforting gestures like these weren't necessary. Not yet. Not when he was already struggling to keep from breaking down, and breaking down in front of all of Titan was the last thing I knew Jed wanted to do.

He was the Alpha, after all, and you had to be strong when everyone else couldn't be.

I was Luna but I was, at the very essence of it, human; and so, after the normal service ended, Adrian motioned me aside and told me that I could easily sit out for the next half of the funeral.

"We're going to be shifting," He explained quietly, his voice painfully flat like he was trying his best to keep the emotions at bay. "Paying our respects to Spike in wolf form but if you want, you can stay – "

"No, it's alright," I assured him, still sniffling and dragging the sleeve of my jumper across my nose, which was disgusting but I hardly cared because Spike was dead. "I'll just be over there." I pointed to the back of the courtyard, where Dimitri was watching the proceedings with an overall air of boredom like this was something he literally saw everyday. Adrian reluctantly nodded and I reached forward to give him a quick pat on the shoulder. "Take care of him, please," I added, jerking my head subtly at Jed, who was still staring unseeingly at Spike's body. "And take care of yourself. I'll be right there if you need anything."

"Thanks, Luna," returned Adrian, a tinge of gratitude seeping into his voice as he quirked the faintest of smiles at me and stepped away.

Before turning to leave, I took a few steps closer until I was next to Jed and reached down to give his fingers a fleeting squeeze. They were frigid cold, I realised, and he didn't squeeze back. In fact, there was not a single glimpse of emotion from him, save for the way the muscle along his jaw ticked as he clenched his jaw even tighter, and I quickly pulled my hand away and headed off.

Dimitri was yawning openly when I came up, dragging a hand through the stubborn locks of his hair and flipping a switchblade in his other hand. I didn't know how he got it, but so long as he didn't stab me, or anyone with it, I figured he could have it. Besides, who was I to argue when I had two knives with me whenever Jed wasn't around, one of which was silver and hanging around my neck?

"If you're going to be snivelling the rest of the service, sit over there," He muttered to me in disgust, pointing to the other end of the low-rise wall he was sitting on, before sneering at the weeping Lorraine, who was standing near the front by Spike's casket. "It's terrible enough to have to hear that woman wailing like a fucking cat in heat. You could wake the dead with that amount of noise. Maybe that's what she's trying to do for her mate," He added dryly.

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