Jimin p.o.v
Take me,
--
After a few days, I decided to go back to the hospital and start working again.
I walked through the bright halls, old men and women being wheeled by nurses, parents comforting their children and relatives, some worried and some crying. Typical setting of an hospital.
My white lab coat shone with pride and I felt happy. Especially since me and Jungkook had came together and confessed our love for each other yesterday. It gave me the courage to go back to the hospital and look straight into the eyes of whoever doubted me. Everything was beautiful.
The weather had gotten much colder. There were no red or orange or yellow leaves to cascade before you and gently swirl. Naked brunches could be seen through the long glassed windows which illuminated the entire hospital. I personally loved the cold, but not when it snowed. I didn't like it because once the snow would fall down heavily, the pretty flowers would remain buried dead underneath.
My phone buzzed, receiving a message;
From: ER
There is a shortage of doctors here. Anyone is who appropriately available, please do come down to the department immediately.
Even though I was a cardio surgeon, I spent more time in the ER than the cardiology department. If I were to remain in the cardio ward, I could sit back and relax, only attending when there were planned surgeries I had to perform. Yet I couldn't let go of the thrill which would greet me in the emergency department, each and every minute. My fingers ached to perform and stitch and open up a person, healing someone when I couldn't quite heal myself.
I speed walked through the psychiatry department, nodding to Seokjin who was wrestling to calm down a father who couldn't believe that cutting yourself was an actual problem to solve.
"But she looked perfectly fine!"
I could see Seokjin's eyes wanting to roll back in his eye sockets and quietly wished the best for him. As much as I wanted to discover why people did what they did, I was more interested in cutting open their chest and physically gripping their heart back to life than to touch them without having to use my hands. Psychiatrists were very unappreciated.
My feet carried myself closer through the neurosurgery department, the last one before the ER, feeling myself warming even more with the excitement. I passed by a grim Yoongi delivering the final news to a pale girl. He rested a hand on her shoulder and apologized for her loss, allowing the assistant to take over and explain to the sobbing girl.
The red blocked letters stacked upon the glass doors sliding open immediately made me cast my eyes upon the nearest unattended patient. I knelt beside him, feeling his ragged breaths and weak heartbeat through my stethoscope. I took in the blood soaked shirt.
"Sir, can you hear me?" I spoke urgently.
His eyes had a weird tinge of blue beside his irises and I shone a flashlight in them. His pupils weren't responding and I put on my latex gloves, preparing myself to stick my fingers inside his mouth.
"What's going on here?"
I shifted my eyes to Namjoon who had sweat beading his forehead and dark circles ringing his eyes. Even though he was an asshole, he still gave his all to healthcare. No wonder he was a professor as well. And my boss.
"Was this patient involved in a traumatic incident?" I questioned him, refusing to take my eyes off the trembling fingers of the patient.
Namjoon raced back and fetched his record, inspecting with hungry eyes.
Either he was involved in a traffic incident or came under a falling impact for these symptoms. I opened his mouth and pressed a finger down on his tongue, waiting for a response from the patient, but nothing came.
"Stop!" Namjoon commanded.
"What's wr--"
"He was involved in a motorcycle incident and is on standby for paralysis prevention surgery. We can't risk to move him even an inch otherwise he'll be permanently paralyzed or wors--"
The patient coughed and my gloved finger was soaked in a red liquid.
He was hemorrhaging.
Namjoon's eyes had a film of fear and I retrieved my finger back.
"He's bleeding internally and there's a strong chance it's happening in the brain. We need surgery right away."
"Dr. Park, you do realise you're under investigation regarding your diagnosis of Alzheimer's and failing to ret--"
"Either we do this surgery or let him die." I gritted through my teeth.
Fuck rules if they prevent me from saving someone's life.
We wheeled the patient into the surgery room, Namjoon being the assistant and anesthetizing the man. I tied my face mask and brought the overhead light closer, taking a look at the monitor.
"Vitals are stable, proceed." I instructed.
The hemorrhaging had to be controlled and CT scans revealed it was happening around the lungs, thus leading us to perform Thoracotomy.
Namjoon handed me the scalpel and I carefully dug the knife into the chest, making an incision along the rib cage.
My own heart was racing, but I had to control myself before I put anyone at risk.
Once it was cut open, I gained access to his chest and took in the slow blood which was pooling around the flesh. It wasn't very serious.
Beep beep, the monitor screamed repetitively, displaying high blood pressure. I looked back down at the chest and sudden squirts of blood sprayed on my robe.
"He's going in shock, Park!"
He's going in shock, Jimin. Meaning if too many of his cells stop working and that can lead to organ failure an--
My vision blurred and a frantic Namjoon seemed to disappear and reappear. My ears kept hearing a line that was torturing my brain. I squeezed my eyes shut to let the panic swallow back down, but it kept rising and I tasted bile in the back of my mouth. My eyes watered and my mouth suddenly felt the lack of oxygen behind my mask.
I was having a panic attack and I didn't have my pills.
It's all in your head, Jimin. It's all in your head, Jimin.
I squeezed my eyes and clenched my fists, letting my fingers dig into my flesh and jolt me awake from the pain. Yet my breath refused to come and I opened my eyes to see
Yoongi hurrying in and yelling.
"Jimin!"
My body that was previously frozen seemed to awaken and I moved away, letting the scalpel fall to the ground. Yoongi nudged me aside and took over, shouting instructions to Namjoon.
I felt like a spectator, an outsider. My blood stained gown, my suffocating face mask, my useless fingers, my teary eyes, watching the doctors having to work harder to save a patient's life I'd put at risk
again.
--
far away.
