Crave You -N.H-

Chapter Twenty Six: I'll be gone, gone tonight. [EDITED]

Chapter twenty six: I'll be gone, gone tonight.

My head is still rushing from everything that had happened the night before. Rolling over to Niall's sleepy body causes me to smile through the darkness. He was my only rock left, knowing what I had said last night. Surely I have destroyed my relationship with not only my mother but as Bradley as well.

I push myself gently from the bed trying not to wake Niall, he needs this sleep. He was something neither of us had been getting anymore, and he looks so peaceful. I step to the dresser pulling on a clean pair of sweats and a t-shirt over my shoulders.

I take my time walking towards the kitchen, I sigh as I reach the living room. A boyish figure is strewn across the couch, I don't even remember him coming in. Niall had probably let him in last night after I had fallen asleep.

He stirs as the smell of coffee fills the apartment, he stretches out and turns over to look at me. He stands and kicks off the blanket, and pulls on his shirt he had been wearing last night.

"I hear you made the London academy," I say to him handing a cup of coffee across the counter. He takes it and nods slightly, adding a weak smile, he looks as though he may puke. He was wildly hung over and needs more sleep than he had gotten, and a shower...he needs a shower.

"Last week," he answers quietly. He sets the cup down and looks up to me, "when did you..." he stops trying to pace himself carefully. "When did you find out about my dad?"

"Yesterday," I swallow, I'm more than terrified to have this conversation. I am full of anger even now which makes it much easier to spill secrets. "Niall had told me that he was tested yesterday morning, and when we found out there was a match we just assumed." I say my hands shaking.

I press them against the cool counter trying to steady them, Brad reaches across and takes one in his own.

"It's not your fault," he says standing up. He rounds the counter and takes me into his arms for a hug. Something I didn't realize I had needed until he gave me it.

"So then the doctor told us it was him and that it was Roger, I wanted my mom to tell you." I stuttered "eventually you would have found out and you needed to know."

He smiles at me, differently than the first time almost relieved in a sense. "It makes loving you and Jean so much make so much more sense." he says "But it also makes the crush I had on you in fifth grade really gross."

We laugh together so hard that we can't stop once we start, and so loud that we wake poor sleeping Niall. He trudges down the hall towards us, his hair push up flat on the left side...he too needed a shower.

"This fucker," he says taking a drink of my coffee, "can drink harder than any person I've ever known."

Brad laughs and nods to Niall as a silent thank you for letting him in last night, and apparently having a drink with him. Brad sits back down and looks across the counter at me again, seriously this time.

"So is my dad willing to do the transplant?" He asks, I shrug my shoulders. "I don't think he would have risked getting tested if it wasn't going to work Sarah."

I thought about it a hundred times between now and yesterday why he would risk getting caught. Or why he never told us in the first place? "Will you tell your mom?"

He shakes his head no, "Not my secret to tell." He fumbles with him fingers and huffs "Once he knows that I know I can only hope he'll tell her. I mean how is he supposed to hide it from her?"

"Honestly Sarah," he says "I think I would be more upset if he kept it to himself and it meant you wouldn't get better."

"You deserve to be angry though," I say gripping tightly to the counter to hold me balance. Niall pulls a chair out and lets me sit down, I do without agruements.

"So do you," he says "you were heartbroken when you couldn't fix your father. She never told you the truth about why you couldn't help him. She just let you suffer thinking you were useless, I'm more angry about that than anything else Sarah." He finishes with a frustrated expression on his face.

"I loved my dad, love him... just because he wasn't my biological father does not change that."

"I know that, I'm saying if you had know the reason, known that you couldn't be his match. That maybe you wouldn't have blamed yourself so badly," he gives me another weak smile before taking his empty cup to the sink.

"So what time did you come banging on the door?"

"I didn't, Liz called Niall to pick my drunk ass up."

"Figures, you never were able to handle your liquor. I must have been exhausted I didn't even notice you had left."

"It takes a lot out of a person," he says to me "you know yelling secrets, standing up to terrible mothers."

"Shut up smart ass," I playfully slap Niall across the chest, but he catches my hand and places a small kiss on the back of it.

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and leans into my neck, "So tell me about London and the academy!"

"I don't know," Brad says staring at us. "Ever everything if coming to London is even a good idea."

"Seriously?" I scoff, "you've wanted to do this forever and now you aren't sure because of what? Because our parents were completely incapable of being adults?"

"No because," he stops, not even knowing how to talk his way out of it.

"You'll do amazing and you'll be even closer to me!"

"That's always a bonus," he smiles "and maybe it's better I stay away from my father for now."

"You can move in with me," Niall looks at Bradley "The apartment is big enough, theres a spare room which you clearly did not make it too last night."

"Yeah," he laughs looking at me and then back to Niall uneasy, "ya that sounds pretty good."

I know there is a rough patch between them, a space that has always been there. Especially with everything that was happening, but still they remain my constant and together they were explosive and dysfunctional. But they were my family, and now I would have both of them closer than ever before.

"So when do you start?" Niall asks letting go of me, he moves around to get into the fridge.

"Uh two weeks," he says looking across at the clock on the stove, "I should go, I promised Lizzy we'd go for dinner." He pulls his sweater on and kisses me on the head before thanking Niall again and dipping out the front door.

"Something's wrong," Niall says as the door closes.

"He's just exhausted," I say to him as he set an apple on the counter for me to eat.

"He's not telling us everything," Niall says shaking his head "He's bothered by the whole thing."

"Probably because he just found out his father has lied for nineteen years and he has not one, but two sisters he knew nothing about." Niall puts together his sandwich and shoves it in his mouth as I talk.

"I wish I could fix it," I say put my head onto the cold counter.

"There is only one person that can fix it," Niall says sinking into the couch "and I think you need to go talk to him."

I nod in agreement, pushing from the counter to get dressed. I wander down the hallway towards my bedroom, the picture of my father and I sits on the dresser. I run my finger across it and smile to myself, you'll always be mine.

As much as I didn't want to go speak to Roger I needed to, he would be at the hospital today. We had some things to sort out.