*** NEW AND IMPROVED ***
With her father missing, Shay will do anything to get him back, even if that means teaming up with a cruel gang leader and his band of psychotic men.
CHARACTER VIEWS DO NOT REPRESENT MY OWN.
***WARNING*** OFFENSIVE CON...
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SO COLD
The sea was a murky cerulean shade and small waves hit the side of the boat (named BEAUTY by an admiring short-sighted owner who charged by the hour). The rather small boat was painted white with the name in a black font and had an engine that stuttered upon starting. It was currently stationary some ways away from the docks, and surrounding the boat was a sea that was never-ending. Sunshine appeared and the sea seemed as if it was made out of uncut bottle-green diamonds and then white-greyish clouds floated across the sky and the sun was concealed once more.
Cole was sat beside me in a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, ankles crossed, and a cold beer bottle in his hand. He had his sunglasses on and he basked in the glory of the sun whenever it reappeared, relaxed and seemingly at peace. It was his idea to continue the second day 'of just us' out at sea, far away from anyone who wanted to intrude on our time. There was no signal so our phones weren't going to distract us. For now, the world was serene and there were no disconcerting problems glaring at us. There was a cooler with beer bottles and bottles of water that Cole had packed and a backpack with snacks that I had grabbed on the way that rested at our feet.
The silence was comforting and I enjoyed it whilst worrying for its ending. I knew Cole had a lot on his mind and his shoulders were weighed down with burdens he needed to share. He would glance at me every so often and smile slightly when I met his gaze and then he would look away, jaw heavy and mouth full of buzzing words. It was only a matter of time before the silence would disintegrate before us. Tick tock.
Unable to keep my lips together, words spilled out of my mouth, heavy and clumsy, obtrusive. "I know you're trying to protect me by keeping me at arm's length but I want to be here – with you, Cole. I will die of heartbreak if you leave me again." His lips twitched but he didn't smile. I faced him, frowning slightly, traced over his features with my gaze and asked. "What's worrying you? Tell me."
He sighed softly, rubbed a hand across his bristly jaw and took his sunglasses off, folded them and rested a hand at my waist and pulled me into his side. "You were right. I am a weak man. I should stay away from you but the more time I spend with you, the more my willpower crumbles. You're not safe around me and I've treated you awfully. I know that, I've said some things that can't be forgiven and I got angry if you thought of leaving me for another man for all the wrong reasons. I treated you like a possession, an item to be owned and flaunted in front of my men. I wasn't going to let you be with someone else, my men will talk and I'd be humiliated. Now the very idea irritates me. I'm in love with you and I care less for what my men will think and more for what you think of me. I want to treat you right." He sighed again, heavily. "My father called me a child and told me I needed to grow mentally and be assured of myself before being with another woman. And he's right. I can't let you suffer and take on my frustrations. It's not fair on you to deal with my shit."
I didn't speak. He wasn't yet finished talking.
"I can keep you safe but my idea of safe would make you wish to leave. I don't want to suffocate you or make you feel trapped. You'd feel caged and desperate to flee."
