Run (Disasters in Love: Book 1) (Part 1 COMPLETE)

Chapter 29

Ben
February 21, 2005

*

Same day

*

She just ran away.

I didn't mean to say my lame thought out loud.

She doesn't even believe me when I say she's beautiful, so why would she run when I said I loved her?

She doesn't believe me, does she?

Is her reaction part of the act?

Shit. She has me over thinking everything. I feel like I'm going crazy.

How do guys do this for real?

Even with Samantha the Bitch, it never felt like this. Does that mean I didn't really love her?

Not that I love Kat.

Do I?

No, I can't. I just said that earlier on accident. It's way too early to feel that way.

Besides, she doesn't even really like me. Sure we have sexual chemistry, but she's made it very clear this isn't real.

That's probably why she freaked out. She probably thought I was trying to make this pretend relationship real.

She's trying to keep her distance as I try to pull her closer. The harder I pull, the further she pushes away.

Shit. I need to slow down.

This isn't real. It's not real. She's way too good for me anyway.

She deserves a good guy and no matter how hard I try, how much I change, I will never be that guy.

"Ben?" Cole's voice breaks through my thoughts. Shit. I've just been staring off since Kat left.

"You okay, man?" Nate's eyeing me like I'm about to freak at any minute. I notice the seat next to him is empty.

Did Red go after Kat? Should I have done that?

That's what a good boyfriend would do, isn't it? Or is giving her space the right thing to do?

Damn, how am I supposed to know?

Red walks out of my room, answering one of my questions. "Ben, she wants to talk to you."

Nate jumps up to comfort her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Everything okay, babe?

"Oh yeah, we're good." She smiles, leaning into him.

"I knew you would work it out." He kisses her temple.

"You were right." She smiles before kissing him. Gross.

I walk straight to my room without saying anything to anyone. It wouldn't change my fate anyway.

She's sitting on the end if the bed, the soft glow of the lamp illuminating her beautiful features.