h i b e r n a t e

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"Neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor hail shall close the door of the mighty Starbucks." - Lauren Myracle, Let It Snow

DEDICATION: clato_maroondiamonds for being one of my faithful voters and commenters! Plus, she's so sweet and relatable. Thank you, darling! <3

"Urghhh, is there any way to get coffee around here?"

"A cheerful 'hello' to you to!"

"Hello, I need coffee."

"Would you like a Pumpkin Spiced Latte? Caramel Macchiato? Iced Skinny Mocha? Green Tea Creme Frappuccino? Insert stereotypical basic bitch Starbucks drink here?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"..."

"..."

"Jesus, that's one mighty yawn. What were you up to last night?"

"None of your business."

"A receptionist's job is to pry into innocent customers' lives."

"All right, I was with Penelope."

"Ah, redheaded Penelope whom I presume you used my flirting tips on?"

"404 error, flirting tips not found."

"Just smile charmingly at her and touch her hand occasionally, us girls love that."

"Uh, do you know how creepy that sounds?"

"Says the one who asked a random chick how to get a girlfriend."

"...I need coffee."

"Seriously, what's up with the coffee obsession? It's like the world plans to get high on coffee and then take over the world with their enhanced reaction rates and dilated pupils."

"I love coffee."

"I hate coffee."

"We can't be friends."

"I can get you discounts at our café."

"Hello, new best friend!"

"But only if you manage to ski down a mountaintop while flirting with Penelope using only Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics."

"Are you Captain Hook? Because there's always a catch with you."

"I have a mad urge to dump a vat of boiling hot coffee on your head."

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