"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup." - Buddy the Elf
DEDICATION: aspiringcorpse for the nicest comments I've ever read + the wonderful votes which I appreciate oh-so-very much. Thank you! <3
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"Arghhhhh! Can I throw something at the wall?!"
"As long as it's not me, I'm okay with that. What's wrong?"
"Oliver Twist, that's what!"
"Yesss!"
"What was that?"
"Er- I mean- I'm so sorry, Mozzarella. I give you my sincerest and heartfelt condolences for this very unfortunate situation."
"Uh huh, and I'm an elf who works at the North Pole."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're a shitty liar."
"Oh wow, okay then! No need to start hating on he-who-did-nothing-to-deserve-this-wrongful-and-emotionally-disarming-treatment."
"I- you're- just- fuck!"
"I'd prefer not to, thank you. Really though, what's wrong with Oliver Twist?"
"Think of everything sarcastic, arrogant, and annoying about Tony Stark."
"Iron Man's one of my favourite Avengers, so I'm mildly offended here, but continue."
"Now smash that with Chandler Bing's prissiness."
"Ooh yeah, not a nice combo. I would not order that from any fast food chain."
"Are you insinuating something?"
"Are you?"
"What? Since when has this conversation been about me?"
"Oh, I don't know, since you wanted to abuse the wall, maybe?"
"I hate Oliver! He called me a carbon copy of Sarah Hyland and said that my looks were average! I mean, hello? You don't say that to a girl! Even someone as generic as me!"
"..."
"Well? What do you have to say about that?"
"You're one of a kind, Mozzarella."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
