"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases." - Bridger Winegar
DEDICATION: Orphic_Selcouth_ for the simply adorable comments! <3
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"Hello?"
"What'd you say before? The call disconnected."
"I didn't say anything."
"Liar liar, pants on fire!"
"Go ahead and set them on fire then! It'd melt the layer of frost that's forming on my legs. It's so damn cold today. Anywho, I said I was crazy for you. Happy now?"
"Satisfied, more like."
"Satisfied? Why satisfied? You're plotting something against me, aren't you?"
"What? No, it means my flirting lessons paid off!"
"That's the first thing you thought of?"
"Yeah, what else? You want me to teach you how to be crazy?"
"That's not- I didn't mean- arghhhhh!"
"Aw, is the PMS flaring up on your man period?"
"Ugh, shut up. Anyway, I'll ask my dad's friend about your symptoms. He's a doctor. Well, he's actually an optometrist, but it's close enough."
"Thanks Chipmunk, it's a lovely offer."
"But?"
"But what? I'm accepting your offer!"
"When people usually say it like that- never mind."
"Never mind what?"
"Never mind your face."
"Speaking of my face, some kid just threw a piece of tinsel at it. I've got to go, cheerio!"
"Isn't that something posh people say?"
"..."
"Oh, she hung up."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
