"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas." - Kin Hubbard
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"I've been waiting with my camera for ages and you never turned up! What's the sitch?"
"The stupid Twist boy managed to scurry away right under my nose!"
"What'd he do?"
"It seemed as though he was tipped off about me coming, because he had disappeared the moment I arrived with snowball in hand."
"How come I didn't see you?"
"I went in through the back entrance."
"Oh, fair enough. Well, what did you expect? This is the guy who managed to cover my entire room in glitter paint without me even noticing."
"What? That's property damage! How come he gets away with that and I don't?"
"Your boss seems to play favorites, if you ask me."
"That's the last straw! Now I have a murder to plot for a certain book character namesake."
"Can I be in charge of inviting guests to the funeral?"
"As long as you also pay for the coffin."
"Hey! What're you paying for, then?"
"The weaponry, duh! Haven't you ever murdered people before?"
"Only on Mario Kart."
"Geez, Luigi must be out for some blood. I always thought he had a murderous glint in those innocent blue eyes."
"Don't you have a guy to murder?"
"He better watch out, he better not cry, he better not pout, I'm telling you why-"
"The Murderous Mozzerella is coming to town... in cinemas near you!"
"I hate you."
"That's the most hurtful wedding vow ever."
YOU ARE READING
Snow Boots (#3)
Short Story"You've reached Westerden Ski Lodge, how may I be of assistance?" "Hey, can I rent some snow boots and skis? Maybe even a girlfriend, if you've got any in stock." "Awesome, do you want to order a life along with that? The gift wrapping's free of...
