g r i n c h

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"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home." - Edith Sitwell

DEDICATION: xxikvxx for being so friggin' kind <3

"Boo!"

"Wrong holiday, Chipmunk."

"There's no such thing as a wrong holiday!"

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Not Halloween!"

"I don't wanna Christmas! I wanna yell boo in childrens' faces! I wanna watch them freak out and run around in circles screaming!"

"Geez, you're a jolly old life-ruiner."

"You're a grinch, then."

"At least I have a heart!"

"One that logically should have exploded out of your chest, considering it grew three times the size it was supposed to be!"

"You supposed to be helping me! Not logically berating me to death!"

"Fine, then let's talk business! Employee of the Month. How's that working out for ya?"

"Firstly, hush. Antarctica can hear you."

"What, do you have the South Pole on speed dial?"

"Hey, penguins have always liked me!"

"I find it difficult to believe that anyone would."

"That's rich, coming from you. Anyway, the job's going well at the moment. My boss gave me the master key for safekeeping. He never trusts anyone with it."

"You mean one of those keys that can unlock any door here at the lodge? Aren't those a myth?"

"What, you've never seen a skeleton key before?"

"No, but I've seen a skeleton before."

"Wha–"

"My grandfather's an archeologist."

"...Okaaay, moving on. You know what this means, right? Me having the key?"

"You breaking into my room and blasting annoying songs in the middle of the night?"

"Would you prefer Friday by Rebecca Black, Baby by Justin Bieber, or Nyan Cat?"

"I'm going to go see if I can suffocate myself with snow."

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