MUSICAL #7: CABARET

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07: THAT LAST PART ABOUT THE 2014 BROADWAY REVIVAL ISN'T EVEN RELEVANT

« do you know what she has done to me? it's terrible! she has turned me into an honest man. »

LYDIA THINKS it's a great idea. For the exact same reason, of course, Allison thinks it's one of the worst ideas ever conceived on the planet.

"I don't see why we have to do this," she grumbles as Lydia leads the way, clicking her way down the damp sidewalk in heels that Allison is extremely sure are practically impossible to stand up straight in.

(Lydia always has defied the laws of the universe.)

"Because, Allison, honey, you need to get out a little more," Lydia replies without looking back.

"At a concert?"

"Mm," Lydia turns into a dark and rather intimidating that makes Allison distinctly uncomfortable. "When I said concert..."

"Lydia," Allison's eyes narrow at her best friend's back, and there's a warning in her voice.

"I may have stretched the term slightly," she concedes, turning to face Allison for the first time.

"And we are actually going where?"

"A club?"

"...are you serious?"

"Very."

"God, I am going to kill you."

"No, you're not. You need me to get through Calculus this year."

"I can get Toby to tutor me."

"You know, somehow, I don't get the feeling that tutoring with Toby would involve much learning at all..."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Whatever you want it to, Allison. Whatever you want it to."

"Oh, God. This is illegal. Lydia, this is illegal! We're gonna get arrested! It's gonna go on our record! Forever! I'll be expelled from high school! I won't be able to go to college! I'm going to spend the rest of my life sharing a cell with a homicidal shoplifter!"

(Allison is panicking.)

"You know, I've never heard of homicidal shoplifters before," Lydia's light tone can still be heard over the thumping bass of the club music. "I don't think they'd really be allowed to share cells. Too dangerous."

"Lydia," Allison makes a last-ditch attempt, grabbing her friend's arm and giving her a pleading look. "Can we please not do this?"

Lydia barely bats an eyelash at Allison's desperation. "We're not leaving until you have hooked up with someone. And I'm not being gender-specific on purpose."

Allison groans. "This again?"

"Yes, this again," Lydia says sharply. "This is the first step of moving on."

"Who says I haven't moved on?" Allison says in an injured tone.

"You still have three of Daniel's hoodies and you take them out of your closet to smell before going to sleep every night," Lydia says in a stop-bullshitting-me-Allison-Reed tone of voice.

If there's one thing to thank clubs for, it's low lighting, because Allison is pretty sure she's bright red. "Not every night," she tries to mumble in self-defence. "It was, like, one time..."

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