Thomas Sangster Imagines

#88 a Darker Subject

(WARNING: may be triggering to people with advanced anxiety, depression, insomnia, bulimia, anorexia, etc... You could either be triggered, or you could feel like you relate)

"you know what? I'm fucking done!" You yelled at him sadly. "I'm sick and tired of you leaving in the middle of the night, of you texting constantly- you never talk to me anymore! you never  kiss me or spend time with me! you never want to see me!"

"maybe because you're so bloody annoying! you never give me a freaking break! you're always asking where I'm going, you want me to stay home every night- if I try and go to a movie with my friends you just act like a selfish bitch and tell me to stay behind! you're too damn controlling and annoying- I don't want to see you, ever, again!" He yelled at you loudly, progressively backing you up into a wall.

Suddenly, a lump fell into your throat and your back smacked against a cold hard wall. You couldn't speak, a salty tear ran down your dry cheek and you choked slightly against your own words.

The room started to spin, and your heartbeat began to race. The room progressively became hotter, almost like a sauna. Your heart pumped hard, almost like it was trying to escape your chest.

Your breath rose and you stumbled slightly, trying to grip onto the wall but just hurting your fingers in the process.

You were having a panic attack.

"Y/N?" Thomas spoke, out of breath. His voice sounded muffled, like your ears were filled with water. and it was hard to hear, you couldn't focus on anything.

"I-i'm sorry" He stuttered, "I didn't mean that" He stared at you, he didn't know what was happening. he didn't know you were having a panic attack.

You immediately broke into tears, feeling your heart sink into your stomach. "I-I" you stuttered, not being able to speak very well. "I-i'm ha-hav-having a p-p-panic at-attack" You backed up, falling into the wall again, and sliding down the wall.

He immediately stopped, he stared at you and an immediate feeling of guilt grew in his veins. He quickly kneeled in front of you and placed one hand on either side of your face. "hey- hey shh its okay, its okay" He said, calmly.

He had always helped you when you had panic attacks, he was always there for you to stop the panic attacks-  but this time, he triggered it. 

"I'm sorry, its okay- I didn't mean it." His voice slowly became clearer, as if water was dripping out from your ears.

"I-I c-ca-cant" You stuttered.

but before you could say something else, his lips were pressed against yours. The taste of his sweet lips pressing against yours made you stop breathing for a moment- and your heart began to slow, your ears became clear and the lump in your throat disappeared.

It felt like ages since you had touched his lips, since you had really seen him- loved him.

He pulled away slowly, after several minutes and he stared at you. It almost felt like your first kiss all over again. "You okay?" he sighed, staring at you kindly.

"Y-yeah" You stared at him and nodded slightly. "y-you want to leave me" you gulped.

"no- no no- I-I was wrong- I was upset- I'm sorry.... i didn't mean it, i want you to be with me, for the rest of my life" he smiled slightly, tears lining his eyes. "stay with me, w-we can get married- have kids- start a life together just-...... stay with me" a tear slipped down his cheek.

You gulped, smiling slightly. "i-i will"

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I'm back bitches whattup