Chapter 23

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Kevin's POV:

I spent a few more days, and nights at the hospital. I went home occasionally but Bethany was still on my mind.

How could this even happen to her? I can't help but know how much this is my fault.

I put my head in my hands. Fuck. I hope she's aight.

"Hey uh Kevin?" I heard someone say in front of me.

I looked up and saw Jordan. "Wassup?"

"I'm going out to the coffee shop down the street. I thought you might've been hungry or something do you want me to pick you something up?" He said.

"I'll just go with you." I said, wanting to get out of this miserable place. And I guess Jordan isn't that bad.

"Cool." He said and walked away.

I followed him out and into a nearby coffee shop. I just got a plain coffee and sat down at a table. My heart was so broken I could barely think.

"Bethany has told me a lot about you." Jordan said, sitting across from me.

"Good or bad?" I asked, happy at the thought that Bethany talked about me while I was gone.

"Both." He shrugged.

"Like what?" I questioned.

"Like all the things you did to her and how hurt she was. She cried a lot too.." He trailed off.

That broke my heart even more.

"But some of the times she would tell me how much she loves you and how happy you made her and how she misses you more than anything." He said looking hurt.

"You care about her don't you?" I said.

"Well duh. I love her. But as long as she's in my life, friend, not friend, I don't care what she is I just need her. She's great." He said, sorrow in his eyes. "And I can't help but think all of this is my fault."

My eyes widened. "Nah nah it ain't even your fault. It's mine."

We both sat in silence for a bit.

I knew what we were both thinking.

We both wished Bethany could stand here and tell us that none of this was our fault.

•••••

It was so depressing to be here. Whenever the thought of losing B came up my stomach would sink and I wold just run outta the hospital and away from the thought of it.

This particular time, Bethany's mom followed me out.

"Hi Lisa," I said wiping a tear from my eye.

"Honey, are you alright?" She asked me with sympathy. It's been a while since she's talked to me.

"I miss her." I said, my voice cracking.

"Oh Kev," she said hugging me. "I miss her too. But she's here. She can here whatever you say to her I know it."

"I'm afraid. She probably hates me. I can't believe what I did to her." I cried into her shoulder.

"I know what you did to her. I heard her crying herself to sleep almost every night. But she could never hate you." She soothed. "She's always going to love you honey."

"I hope she knows how much I love her." I said.

"Trust me, she does." She said.

•••••

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