People say when you look out of the window while traveling; all the questions of life come in front of you.
You remember everything that you want to forget about.
The four hour long lonely train journey from Nadiad to Valsad proved to me these facts.
My mind was trapped in a whirlpool of thoughts… all for one person.
I tried to sleep, but my mind just could not stop thinking about Monish.
I wished to rip out my brain and put it on “sleep” mode…
Four hours seemed like a day in the train… Finally after 245 minutes, I reached Valsad junction…
I was irritated at that moment. I did not feel like going home.
Something was missing…
I was missing Nadiad. I was missing that place which was still alien , all because of Dr. Monish Shah.
That name … It had almost got imprinted on my heart.
I had to behave normally at home… and act all happy and excited…
“Wow… how awesome I am feeling to be back home”…!!!
While climbing the stairs, I was getting a horrible feeling.
I was wishing that these stairs would lead me to Monish’s ward
That day at home. I can vividly recollect - I literally over-acted. That day I realized how bad I was at acting.
Thank God my parents and sister could not make it out… Otherwise I would have got screwed!!
I was too hungry… but I was not feeling like having anything…
I felt weak in the knees and my hands were all cold and clammy because of the restlessness I was feeling…
My mom had prepared all my favorite dishes but I veritably swallowed the food that day…
I was forced to… I could naturally not tell mom about my uneasiness…
20:30 hours
The doorbell rang…
It was my sister Ashni. She just returned from her chemistry classes.
“Hey diiiii” …. She had never been so happy to see me…
And she hugged me really tight…
“How’re you betu? How’s your studies going on?” I asked….
That hug from Ashu made me feel a bit better…
“Didi… I’m damn scared… Please teach me all those organic chemistry conversions… I’ll do anything for you…”
“Ashuuu.. Anything?????????????? You sure????”
“Ha didi… anything that would be in my hands… I’ll get a box of 100 dairy milk silk chocolates for you…”
“Haha… Okay you freshen up and have dinner… We’ll study after that”
“Done… You take rest till then… You look too tired…”
I looked tired but in fact, I was just upset and moodless…
I went to the room which I shared with Ashni…
Everything was the same… The same curtains, the same picture collage of my family and friends, the same study table, the same bed yet EVERYTHING was different…
I wasn’t the same Rimsha who died to go home. There was a time I loved Valsad.
I fought with the people who said anything against my city… but in the last few days Nadiad and Ahmedabad seemed more familiar to me… I hated Valsad that day… I was angry, irritated and I was facing some unexplained emotions I myself could not understand…
“Didi…” Ashni shouted at me…
“Ashuuuu… You scared me…”
“Di.. I missed you…”
“I missed you too betu.. Get to books now… Flatter me later!”
She got her chemistry books…
I could see benzoic acid, phenol, and all other hexagons dancing in her chemistry book…
I could not understand a word at the first glance…May be because I was mentally somewhere else…
I tried to focus and finally I could get a bit of it into my head…
I explained her the basics of organic chemistry and cleared some of her doubts till 10:15 PM…
“Enough diiii… I’m tired now…. You also go to sleep… We shall study the rest tomorrow…”
“Okay Ashni… Good night …. Luv ya!”
I was damn tired after the journey but despite that I could not sleep… I simply kept switching sides.
23:38 hours…
My phone rang… It was Monish’s call…
I had set “ZARA ZARA” from the movie RHTDM as the ringtone to his call… so that I could know that it is his call even when the cell phone is not in my hand…
