Major Denial [Style Love Story]

● CHAPTER ONE ●

─   Dude, You're So Fucking Gay    ─

The more people force me to think about it the more I realize that it really was love at first sight - minus the romantic aspect of it all. Yeah, I love Kyle Broflovski; I loved him in elementary school, I loved him during middle school, and I love him even now. Honestly, I can't even imagine any sort of future without him. He's my "Super Best Friend." But that's the thing about us, Him and I are the closest friends in all of South Park, so it's only natural that we love each other. We're just not in love, and there's a few good reasons as to why.

Landing in number one on that list is the fact that I have a girlfriend, one who I'm very loyal to. Her name is Wendy Testaburger and honestly she's the coolest girl in school. She's also the prettiest. Really, if you could see her for yourself I'm positive that you'd agree with me. Every time she applies makeup she keeps it modest and subtly beautiful, and her hair is always silky and shiny. But one thing that I've noticed about her is that she always carries around the scent of vanilla from that perfume that almost every girl in school wears. It doesn't matter too much to me, or at all really. It's just something I couldn't help but catch on to.

Reason number two is because I'm just not in love with anyone; male or female. I don't know what being in love is even like, and my feelings toward everyone I know haven't really changed all that much since kindergarten.

Speaking of which, it's kind of weird that my friend group hasn't changed since as far back as I can remember. I really don't think that any of us have matured much either. We'll always be that ridiculous group of guys infamous around school for being... Well, for being us.

But recently people have started implying that Kyle and I are dating, or that we're at least friends with benefits if anything. As for Cartman, he just straight up calls us gay all the time. There's no 'implying' on his part. But that's just who he is and while it can get annoying after awhile, it's nothing new to either of us.

It never really bothered me until it started bothering Kyle. I didn't notice it at first, but then he really snapped when we were visiting him at his part time job. Cartman, Kenny and I were roaming around the store waiting for Kyle to get out so that we could all go watch some new movie that Cartman wanted to see. It didn't start until later that night, about half an hour after Kyle's shift ended, so we figured we'd hang out for a while and then buy some snacks to sneak into the theatre. I didn't see anything wrong with that plan and neither did anyone else so I wasn't worried about anything.

Well things were about to take an odd turn when Cartman's stomach started growling. "Man, I'm starving!" he complained, patting his stomach and looking around. He spotted the Cheesy Poofs and made a beeline for them, snatching two large bags right off the shelf and turning back around.

"Hey, we're all splitting this money!" I told him. "So we're splitting the food too."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," muttered Cartman as he pushed past us and over to the line. "It's not like I have all the money, you can buy whatever the fuck you want with your own!" Then he dropped the bags onto the conveyor belt. It wasn't that long of a line, but there were a couple of guys in front of us. Kyle was our cashier, and he was acting the way he should by being polite and whatnot. Of course, Cartman just couldn't let it go. "Dude, dude!" he partially shouted over to Kyle.

"Sorry," he apologized to his customer, offering him a smile before turning to Cartman and giving him a ticked off look.

Cartman cupped his hands over his mouth and whispered over to Kyle, "You're gay!"

"Shut up, Cartman!" I said, glaring at him. If Kyle lost his temper during work time there's not a doubt in my mind that he'd scare off some customer and then he'd get into trouble with his boss, which isn't something that I wanted to happen to him.