Life choices (Remus Lupin Marauders era)

Chapter 35

Remus's POV

"Look, you said we had to go out into the forest, you didn't say how long we were allowed in there for."

I absentmindedly listen to James make some form of a haphazard excuse as to why we were out all night. McGonagall berates him profusely until he smugly points out that he technically didn't break any rules. After a considerable number of minutes spent on debates and quick scans through a thick, leather bound book, she finally gives in and lets us go back up to our rooms to get ready for our first lessons.

As soon as I'm back in my room, I go to take a long shower, washing away the dirt from the forest and the vague memories of the transformation last night. Though they're faint, I find it hard to get rid of them. You'd think that I'd get used to it after all this time, but I haven't. Somehow I just can't.

Each memory seems to distort itself, moulding and transforming into bigger and more deadly versions of myself. I climb out and wrap a towel around my waist whilst trying to shake the water dockets from my messy brown hair. I wipe away the fog in the mirror and look at my face, studying it like it was the last thing left on the Earth.

I've tried to fade the scars as much as I can, but they're still there. Taunting me and making my skin look like the Grand Canyon in some areas.

I return from the shower and face the boys, all sitting on their beds and arguing quietly about something. As soon as they see me they stop talking and turn away quickly. I suspiciously look down at them, waiting until the silence became too uncomfortable to bear until I speak.

"What is it? What did I do?"

"Nothing, you didn't do anything." James reassures me. "It wasn't your fault."

"So something did happen." I interrupt and frown when they don't reply. "Well? What happened?"

Sirius hits James on the upside of his head and mutters something about how he should just have kept his mouth shut. He just replies with some smart mouthed answer about how I was going to find out eventually.

"Ok moony, so you have to promise that you don't freak out, but last night, in detention, you were about to turn when Imogen appeared. She didn't see you as a werewolf, but she did see Sirius and Peter as animals." James says slowly.

"It would've been ok if James hadn't promised that he'd explain everything to her." Sirius says sourly.

"Well, of course I'm not going to tell her everything." He says with an eye roll. "What was I supposed to say then? Pretend like this didn't happen and never bring it up again? She's a smart girl, she was going to get to the bottom of it herself, even if we didn't do something."

I sit on the edge of my bed and run my fingers through my slightly damp hair in irritation.

"Ugh, I do not want to deal with this right now. I've got to prepare for the DADA test." I huff, picking up a book and flicking through to the right chapter..

James laughs but stops as both Sirius and Peter shoot him glares.

"Sorry, it's just that it's a test on werewolves, I do think that you have to worry about failing." He says, hiding a small smile. "Ok, sorry, I'll be serious." I watch as Sirius's jaw clenched in annoyance. "What? Siriusly I promise."

Sirius gives him a deeply unimpressed look, but somehow their exchange manages to bring a ghost of a smile onto my face.

"Oh my gosh! Remus can smile! May this day forever be recorded in history as the day that Remus John Lupin actually smiled!" Sirius manages to join in and laughs, nudging me with his elbow.