39. fire and ice

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Chloe,

I'm not scary. You're just too scared to offend me because you're paranoid of losing me.

Going to level one was my biggest mistake – that's obvious. But do you know what my next biggest mistake was? It was leaving you, even when you still wanted to hang on. Let me go, Chloe. Get on with your life. I'll still be here, on the other side of the ink, but I can't keep holding you back.

I love you, and I know you love me. But we need to love other people too.

Don't forget that I'm here, but don't rely on me. Because I think I've proven that I can't catch you when you fall. You need to do that yourself. I'm not the best friend you wish I was. That I wish I was.

Love,

Monica.

Monica

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Thunder rumbled through my body, an untamed animal that had broken free from its reigns. Like a match meeting flame, a spark had erupted, so hot and wild that it overcame me entirely. I was a puppet to an animistic instinct manipulating my fingers to wind through his hair and filling me with a desperation, a need, to close the distance between us.

The small space between us had ignited.

William's hands were hard against my waist, the tips of his fingers digging into my skin in a bid to draw me close, even closer than the confines we were already subjected to. His lips were fast and dominant against mine, deepening our kiss in seconds, fueling the fire that I had started.

The whispers in my mind had long been dulled by an overtaking euphoria, capturing me with William's presence; his scent, his shoulders, his hot breath against my skin, his everything.

This wasn't for show; there was nobody here to see us. It was just us. Just him and I and an impulsive decision.

"God, why do you do this to me," he whispered as our lips fell momentarily apart, his voice husky and his breath tickling my ear.

God, why was I doing this to begin with? I asked myself, but then his mouth was back on mine and his hands were slipping lower, behind my thigh, pulling me even closer. I was sure I was going to explode. Sure that somehow, something in my chemical makeup had shifted and turned me into a completely different being.

I'm making out with William Bishop. In my wardrobe.

This was not planned, or condoned, or even thought through. No, this was a physical reaction to close proximity and our giddy high after the rollercoaster that was the last twenty-four hours. And the attraction which I couldn't deny I felt for him. He carried a charisma which gave him an unfair advantage.

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