Run (Disasters in Love: Book 1) (Part 1 COMPLETE)

Chapter 48

Kat
May 31, 2005

*

Ten days later

*

In. Out.
Right. Left.

Nothing can replace the feeling of running. Since I've been home, I found I can easily run my old path twice, even three times before getting tired. I could probably do four, but maybe I will save that for a special occasion.

In. Out.
Left. Right.

I breathe in the familiar sights and smells, but I feel so out of place. It's like I no longer belong in my own home.

Buzz, buzz.
Buzz, buzz.

I don't even need to look down at my phone to know there's a new message waiting for me.

The same way it has every day, just a little before 2. The first day it was 1:41 pm, then 1:42, then 1:43 and so on. Today, it came at 1:51 pm. I feel like it has some secret meaning, but I just can't figure it out.

What could it possibly mean?

I slow down to a walk to read the new message, my curiosity getting the best of me.

Ben: It's been 10 days, in case you were wondering. Today I miss your laugh. Hope your day is as beautiful as you.

He sends the same thing every day, except each message includes something different he misses that day. Ten things for ten days.

I go through the list mentally, counting each one on my fingers.

My face.
My lips.
My smile.
My eyes.
My nose.
My ears.
My hair.
My hands.
My legs.
And now my laugh.

I guess we have moved from visual to auditory.

I dismiss the notification and drink some water before continuing my run. I haven't built up the courage to hit reply yet. I wonder if he will keep sending them.

It's really cute and sweet, but part of me wonders if he really misses me. I want to believe him, I really do, but the last time I trusted a guy, my life fell apart.

Not because of what he did but because of who he was. The impact he had on my life was significant. I should have known better.

I did know better, but I was weak.

He made me feel so powerless and he liked it. It made him feel in control, which he apparently needed.

The truth is, things were broken long before I caught him cheating. He broke my world the moment I met him and he never fixed it.

To say my father disapproved would be a huge understatement. He flat out refused to acknowledge me while I continued my "inappropriate" relationship.

Okay, he didn't use the word inappropriate. It was probably something closer to unholy, impure or sacrilegious. I can't remember exactly, it seems my brain blocked that part out.

It's probably better that way. It was the worst fight I've ever had with my father. With anyone, actually.

He will not be happy to hear about Ben. I've been avoiding the topic since I arrived back home, but how long can I last?