Chapter Thirty One (Edited 1/17/2021)

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1/17/2021 - Hi everyone! Another completely rewritten chapter...hope you enjoy! And thank you Wanderlust_writes for the cover! This is the chapter I think everyone has been waiting for ever since the book started ;)

Fight For Her is so close to being released! March 9th is the big day, and if you go to my profile you can find my announcement with various links to pre-order your own copy! (One with free, worldwide shipping!!)

Silently Falling: Chapter Thirty One

I toss and turn in my bed, trying my hardest to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in despite being buried underneath an abnormal amount of pillows and blankets. Dad was convinced that with the temperature dropping below freezing tonight, I would get too cold and insisted that it wouldn't be good for my throat, so he added two blankets on my bed as well as a few pillows to keep me warm. My feet get tangled in my sheets and they painfully wrap around my pinkie toe of my left foot, tugging it away from the rest of my toes as I shift to lay on my side. And at the same time, one of my pillows decides to fall down onto my face in an attempt to smother me. With a huff, I throw my blankets and pillows off of me and scowl at the darkness surrounding me.

I throw a few of the pillows onto the floor around my bed, toss a blanket off as well, and lay back down to try and sleep. Thirty minutes later, I'm still wide awake. There are too many things floating around my head; Warren, West, and how hungry I am since Dad never really made dinner tonight.

Finally, I sit up out of bed, grab my phone, turn on my flashlight, and tear my closet apart as I search for a long-forgotten childhood stuffed animal that used to bring me comfort when I couldn't sleep. I've never felt the use for him since, not even the weeks after that fateful night freshman year... I was too afraid to taint any innocent memory and my childhood stuffed animal was the poster child of innocence. However, after the last 24 hours, Mr. Buttons is much needed.

Mr. Buttons is a light blue, plush Narwhal with velvety fur (yet no buttons...good job with the name, baby Raine) that my Dad picked out for me before I was born. He was convinced I was going to be a boy, so the blue ocean animal seemed perfect. However, when they discovered I was going to be a girl, instead of returning the sea creature for something society deemed as more girly, they decided to test their luck and give it to me anyways. I slept with it every night up until I hit middle school and was convinced that sleeping with your baby toys wasn't 'cool.' Now, Mr. Buttons is a ghost of what he used to look like. His light blue plush fur has turned rather gray after years of intense, toddler cuddles, and his horn has become droopy.

Nonetheless, hugging him to my body does provide a small sense of security as I close my eyes and dream of being a little kid again. Back when Mr. Buttons was freshly blue with a pointy horn, perfect to annoy Toby with every morning at breakfast.

Yet I still can't sleep. Dad and I worked all evening on the home-remedies he was prescribed by various doctors to help with my voice, and by the end of the night the strain on my throat was too much. Our hard work seems to be paying off, though. By the time we called it a night, I was able to speak full sentences with little to no pain coming right away. Of course, all of that strain has caught up to me now and I've constantly been reaching for the water bottle sitting on my nightstand. And, as exhausted at my body is, I suppose my mind is wide awake; which should really be no surprise considering everything that has happened.

West is back on my mind. Oh, who am I kidding; West never left my mind. The broken look in his beautiful brown eyes has haunted my dreams (if you can even call them that since I never technically fell asleep). I'm so used to seeing those same eyes lit with mischief or laughter, but I never want to have to see the pained sadness again. And to know that I'm the one who caused it...it hurts, and I'm extremely conflicted.

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