Hoseok p.o.v
listen to,
---
I flipped through the magazine lazily, hoping for some kind of entertainment.
I couldn't wait to get the hell out of this place and do the things I always did.
I wanted to go on long road trips with Tae and Kookie again when the days turned short and nights swam long and lips spoke promises and hearts wished forevers.
I wanted to lie under the stars and force my fingers not to gravitate towards Tae's and see the way his eyes shone and travelled like the light years between us.
I wanted to hear the way his mouth would hum while we would drive through the vacant streets at 1 AM and smile at me at when the stop light turned red.
I wanted, no, I needed to, to just tell him that not only would I spend each of my last second with him if I had only one day left to live,
I'd spend each of my last second with him if I had even one hundred years to live,
and still wish for more time.
I tossed the magazine aside and reached over to turn out the light. It was well past my curfew and Jungkook had already been ushered back to his room by the nurse. It wouldn't be until after lunch time he could visit me again.
I felt a bit saddened at the thought.
Sitting here, in a room where God knows how many patients had screamed or silently struggled for life, only to be taken away by death.
I didn't like to think about these kind of things.
Jungkook was the kind to whisper these thoughts on nights where all three of us would be drinking together. Taehyung was the kind to quietly agree with him and silently open another bottle for himself. And I was the kind to shake those two to their senses and ask if they had a Samsung charger nearby.
Maybe it wasn't healthy to ignore the fact that one of your friend spoke more lies than truths and the other would never run out of new kinds of alcoholic beverages.
But then again, we all have a part of us that we can't show to others because we're all too afraid.
And so we silently stare at the screens of our phones, trying so fucking hard not to notice that one friend is wearing full sleeves in the middle of summer and the other one wearing a loose shirt that once fit him perfectly a month ago, only to silently pray that they don't ask about the protruding dark circles that hang beneath your eyes,
as we all text other people on our phones, even though we already have each other around us.
》
I couldn't take it anymore.
It was well past 2 AM now and I really wanted to hear his voice.
So I fumbled for my phone and speed dialled him, hoping he wasn't out getting wasted.
On the third ring, spoke a deep voice that still made the insides of my hands tingle,
"Hoseok, what's up?"
I relaxed at hearing his sober voice.
"Man, it's just so hard to spend one last night here."
He chuckled on the other end and I heard the sound of water running. He was probably washing the dishes.
"Come on, you'll be discharged tomorrow evening anyways. I'll be picking you up, remember?"
My cheeks warmed slightly at the thought of his beautiful face greeting me again and I suddenly felt the urge to just tell him right there.
Tell him I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him and that I so desperately wanted the day where I could wake up next to him and wonder what he'd want for breakfast. Or whether he wanted to adopt a kitten or a puppy in our lovely little home. Or maybe, just maybe, adopt a beautiful baby of our own and raise him and love him. Or her.
That oh God, let me spend all of my heartbeats with him.
And that the day where my heart would beat for the last time, I wanted it to beat right beside his.
"Tae?"
"Hm?"
"You know, I really care about you."
"Of course I know. You're always throwing out the booze I buy!"
I sucked in a wavering a breath and squeezed my eyes shut, tiredness of my body washing over me once again. I tried really hard to block out the rhythmic beeping of the vital's monitor, displaying a spike in my heartbeat.
"B-but did you. . ."
"Did I what?"
I could hear the sound of water being shut off now and I gulped.
"Did you know that I-I"
I want you,
I need you,
I mis-
"Mr. Jung, it's past your curfew!"
My heart skipped and I saw the nurse standing at the doorway, looking very very pissed.
"Uh Tae, I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Wait, what we--"
I quickly ended the call and apologized to the nurse. With a sigh, she left on a concerned note and I turned off my phone in case he was trying to call back.
I was about to tell him.
What a stupid idea. Was I really about to confess my feelings for someone over the damn phone?
I groaned and lied back down on my bed, plopping against the soft pillow which was refusing to comfort my raging thoughts.
I couldn't tell him I loved him over the phone.
I wanted to speak to him whilst seeing his beautiful face and witness the expression he'd set forth, whether it be of rejection or acceptance.
Either way, I was going to wait and tell him tomorrow evening when he'd pick me up.
I turned on my side and with my hand pressed under my cheek snugly,
I dreamt of the time when me, Kookie and Tae had sat under the stars and made the promise,
we'd never leave each other's sides,
and believed,
we'd fulfil it.
--
unspoken words.
A/N
I felt like this was a really shitty chap.
Still waiting for Yoongay's mixtape to drop *sigh*
School's gonna start in less than a month *sigh*
