Insecure - Tom Hiddleston Imagines Geared Towards Battling Insecurities

Exchange Student

Tom's POV

The word "goodbye" is a summation of the first hello, the duration of the relationship, and the last parting you'll ever say to a person. It seems like time flies all too quickly, for that's why there's no space and hardly a hyphen in the word. Goodbye, unfortunately, just...happens.

And it's nearly impossible to say it to (Y/N).

Almost every day I think back to the first. Goodness, she was so shy. She was new to the university, and I had gone back to school to audit a class for some extra enrichment. Poor dear, cornered by the other girls who had nothing better to do than to pick a fight with the new girl from halfway across the world.

There's probably nothing scarier than to be dropped off in a country you don't know, where you have no friends or family, limited cash, and barely an idea on how to get around and where to go, even to her living accommodations.

If I hadn't been there, I worry no one else would have. And I also worry I would have never met the woman that I would call my best friend.And I could think of nothing and everything all at once as we stood there for one last embrace. The shy girl who blossomed into someone I could talk for hours with; the person I had lunch with at least once a week at the cafe where we went so she could calm down with some tea; the person I would do group notes with and then help her study for her exams; the person I would laugh until 1am and fall asleep in the library with until 6am; the person I took to my house to meet my family because they couldn't afford to go back home to visit family for the school breaks.The person that anyone could very well say I was falling in love with...gone as soon as I let go.The thing is, I didn't want to."We can write, Skype, and once I save up money, I can come back for a while."

And I knew she meant well. But a while wasn't now, and I needed her then, for a long time, for always, even if it wasn't as something more than friends. I needed her in my life, more than just an image on a screen. But what do you say when you didn't want to risk how good you had it then and say exactly how you feel in the plainest of terms?

"It's not the same."

Your POV

How the heck do I say goodbye to him?

How do I even let go to the guy who I owe all my positive experiences here to? How do I let go of the guy who treated me like family when I had none here? How do I let go of the guy who soaked up all my problems and anxieties like a sponge in order to make me clean again? How do I let go of the guy who's more than just a guy, but my best friend?

And maybe it was I was in a vulnerable place when we met and still in a relatively vulnerable place now, but how do I let go of the one who may very well be the one?

"I know it's not the same, but it's the only alternative until then, no?"

"What if I come to you?"

As much as I wanted that more than anything, that is us being in each other's company, I knew that was a little unfair.

"Tom, I couldn't ask that of you."

"I wouldn't offer if I wouldn't be okay with it." He squeezes me tighter. "I will always be okay if it means seeing you."

The flight attendant announces the final boarding call. I can't do this. If I let go of him now, there's a chance I'm letting him go forever.

"I can't."

"What makes you think I can?" I can feel him smile against my head. "No one should ever have to let go of you."

***

A/N: So badly I wanted to have the ending where he buys an open seat on the plane, but I have to keep some of this realistic. Plus, inevitably, a goodbye would follow down the line. ):