A Jock's Tale (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Twenty-four

Did anyone cry yet? If you have then you might again. If not then you might cry this time. I used a soundtrack from the movie The Impossible. GREAT AND VERY SAD MOVIE. The music fits. You'll see why. Anyways I dedicate this chapter to snickerbear12 because her story comes in this chapter. In fact its quite a hit in the world of Jake and Danny.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                          Jake

I just needed space.

That was what I kept telling myself and everyone around me. I used my homework as a distraction. In fact all the studying I was doing was improving my grades. Although something in school I got these hollow moments in which I didn’t hear what the teacher was saying to me.

That was pretty much the feeling I was getting a lot lately. There was no sign of Danny as he must have been hurt too badly. I had heard Marcus and Jimmy talking about how Danny hadn’t been to school for a week. When I glared at them from the other side of the table they shut up and walked away.

At lunch all I did was pick at my food, study, and stare off into space.

My friends kept bothering me and trying to cheer me up that I stopped going to lunch with them. I ate my lunch in an empty classroom watching the dust moats and listening to the chatter of fellow classmates in the hallways. 

I stopped eating most of my lunches anymore after that and not even the days that flew by mattered much to me anymore. I think I felt really bad about what I said or rather screamed at Danny. So I went with shutting myself down and pushing even my friends away. Because anything that would come out of my mouth would only end up being hurtful. 

It was better this way anyway.

So most of the time I was in school I kept strictly to myself. The teachers didn’t say anything because what could they say? That my grades had improved and that they were worried?

At home I ate only because I knew what my grandma would do. She was doing her best not to say anything. I just needed my space. She knew that. Jenny would know that is she was still here.

Maybe in the second week was when the breakdowns would happen. They started silent so no one would ever know. I would hide in the school bathroom stall to wait it out. Or when I was home with Grandma, the bathroom. Sometimes a little wail or two would creep out but they didn’t drag out too loud. They didn’t draw any attention.

So I would lay on bathroom floor to shake all by myself.

How rotten I felt for talking to Danny like that. He should just never forgive me. I wouldn’t deserve it.

I rocked back and forth hugging my knee’s on the bed in my Grandma’s room. Ice always present lately sat by my feet watching me with his blue eye’s. I was thankful animals couldn’t talk.

“No, no, he’s fine,” I heard my Grandma saying to someone on the phone.

It was a while before she was able to speak again.

“I think he’s laying down for a nap right now. He’s ahead in school and everything. No you don’t have to fly back out here right now. Stay at work I’ll keep you updated.”

So unfortunately I was worrying my poor Grandmother and my sister. What a terrible person I turned out to be. I rocked myself harder wishing, hoping, praying for some blackness to swallow me up now.

                                            Heather