Soul 50: Hell

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"Even if we know that it is just too strong..."


AVERY


Hinang-hina na si Zirrius. Nagising na lang siya nang maramdaman na may nagtatanggal na ng posas sa mga kamay niya. He tried to knock the guard down when he was totally free from the handcuffs but he was too weak. Sa halip, siya ang napatumba ng kawal. His face was flatly pressed on the ground. The guard was grinding his head against the soft mud.


"Kumain ka!" mariing utos ng kawal. He almost tossed the food on the floor like Zirrius was some kind of an animal. They were being cruel. Halos tumalon mula sa plato ang pagkain niya. It was just a piece of meat and bread. May ibinaba pa itong isang baso ng tubig sa tabi ng plato. If only this guard knew who Zirrius was, he would surely be down on his knees by now.


Umalis ang kawal at siniguradong nakasara nang maayos ang selda ni Zirrius. Nanghihinang napaupo at sumandal sa pader si Zirrius. He was exhausted. Everything here was draining his energy. Hindi pa rin niya makalimutan kung paano itinarak ni Aivee ang espada nito sa puso ni Verone. And she just disappeared like starlight.


"Why did her body disappeared like that?" he asked me in silence. Hindi man lang niya magalaw ang pagkain dahil wala siyang ganang kumain. He was hollow and empty inside.


"That's how higher elves die. Their bodies become particles and will soon be part of nature. Their souls were sent on the other world. It's either they will be reincarnated or they will stay there," seryoso at malungkot na sagot ko sa kanya. "Pero kung normal na elf lang siya, she will not disappear and her body will just decay."


Ramdam ko ang pagbigat ng pakiramdam ni Zirrius. Napasabunot na lang siya sa magulong buhok niya. Hindi niya alam kung ilang oras o araw na siya sa loob ng seldang ito. Ramdam niya rin ang paghapdi ng sikmura niya. Everything here was engulfed by darkness. Gusto niyang sumigaw dahil sa galit. How could he let Verone die? Just like that? Tahimik niyang sinisisi ang sarili niya dahil sa nangyari. I could clearly hear his thoughts and regrets.


"I'm sorry," mahinang sabi niya. Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng dibdib niya. "I'm sorry that I'm not able to retrieve your body. I'm sorry that I'm too weak to save anyone," paos at pagod na wika niya. His heart was completely shattered to pieces that I wanted to cry too. "I'm sorry that I can't do anything. I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."


His hoarse and tired voice almost broke my soul. I was nearly shattered by his words. Hindi niya dapat sinisisi ang sarili niya.


"No. You're not weak. I'm the one to blame. Ako ang nagdala sa 'yo sa lugar na ito. Ako ang may kasalanan ng lahat. Alam kong hindi ka rin sinisisi ni Verone sa mga nangyari. She already knows from the start that she might end up dead if she's unfortunate. Wala siyang sinisisi dahil desisyon din niya ito," mahinang sambit ko.


Mabigat din sa loob ko ang nangyayari. Mas mahirap ito sa parte ko dahil ako ang dahilan ng lahat ng gulong ito.


"Huwag mong ipaalam kay Severus kung sino ka talaga. Hahanap ako ng paraan upang makatakas ka rito kahit isakripisyo ko ang kaluluwa ko. Bumalik ka na sa kaharian ng mga tao. You don't have to stay here. You don't have to suffer," nahihirapang wika ko pa. "You don't have to break."

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