"phil?" dan pushes open the door of their apartment, his voice soft, and barely overpowering the loud television in the living room. he sighs, knowing phil has probably fallen asleep on the recliner again, and he takes off his shoes and coat before quietly making his way to the blasting chatter coming from the tv.
just as he thought, phil's back was resting comfortably against their recliner, the tv remote balanced carelessly on his thigh and his pink lips were parted ever so slightly, dark hair fawning all over his forehead.
dan just smiled at the older boy, his heart sinking a little at the fact that he has upset phil again by coming home late, but he shook the thought out of his head, walking over to his husband and placing a chaste kiss against his forehead, his fingers brushing the dark locks away from his eyes.
phil's eyes fluttered slightly at the gesture and he leaned a bit into dan's touch before dan retreated, standing back and watching as phil rubbed his eyes, a soft yawn escaping his lips.
"dan?" his voice was groggy, and dan wanted nothing more than to smooth out his hair and lay down in bed with him, helping him fall asleep again.
"hey," dan replied, biting his lip and waiting for phil's reaction. usually, phil would just give him a disappointed look and not make proper conversation with him but today phil just sighed, murmuring a soft "hi".
"i'm sorry fo-" dan began apologising but was cut off when phil stood up, stretching his arms behind his head and leaned forward to press his lips against dan's cheek.
"it's okay, it doesn't matter," phil squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, giving dan a lazy smile that did not meet his eyes, and pushed past the taller boy to get to their bedroom, going over to the right side of the bed and slipping under the duvet.
"you're not mad at me, are you?" dan asked cautiously, unbuttoning his shirt and placing it on the dresser, and phil just shook his head, turning over to face away from dan.
to be honest, phil was tired now.
he had started accepting the fact that getting mad at dan every three days for breaking his promises would get them nowhere, and just distance them further. they barely spent time together anyway, and when they did, phil did not want them to fight.
of course, it would take time to transition his intolerance into acceptance. he would have to ignore the fact that dan barely has a meal with his family, or the fact that he has completely stopped answering phil's calls when he's at work. he will have to accept the fact that dan is busier now, he has much better things to do rather than fooling around with phil, and that they are growing up.
dan is not eighteen anymore.
phil lets out a shaky breath when the mattress dips next to him and dan's arms wrap around his waist, dan's lips placing a soft kiss against the back of his neck and he really wants to turn over and pull dan closer to him, he really does, but he is just afraid of rejection.
he remembers that one time when he tried shuffling closer to dan in his sleep, dan had simply pushed him away, stating that it was too hot to cuddle and that he wanted some space.
phil hasn't made the first move to cuddle dan since then.
dan can feel it, the way phil's pale body goes rigid as he wraps his arms around the older boy and he feels like he's been stabbed right in the chest.
it hurts slightly too much that they can't sleep together like they used to and dan knows for a fact that it has been a good three weeks since they have slept like this.
"are you okay?" he murmurs in phil's hair and phil lets out a deep breath, leaning slightly into dan's grip before nodding his head unconvincingly.
"yeah, everything's fine," phil is clearly lying and after four years of knowing him, dan can confirm the fact.
"okay," dan doesn't point it out though, he just loosens his grip on phil, and kisses his cheek once before shifting back to his original spot.
"good night," dan's voice is hoarse and phil turns to look at him, his chest hurting at the sight of dan going back to the edge of the bed.
phil just looks at him with a small frown on his face, quickly recovering and offering dan a half hearted smile.
"yeah," phil turns back around. "good night," and then he shuts the lamp off.
-- sorry this writing is a bit craPPY IM JUST SHOOK BC OF DAN'S NAILS FUCK MY LIFE
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