Within Seconds: Sylas & Allen

Finale Pt. 1

When Iris slipped through the front door, Barry slid his legs closer to his body, leaving her room to sit beside him at the top of the porch stairs. He didn't pay much attention to her, let alone the two leather bound books sitting on her knees. His eyes were on the night sky. 

Barry inhaled a soft breath. "Can't stop thinking my dad's doppelganger, seeing him, knowing that he's out there, that should have made it easier. Doesn't. Just made me miss him even more..."

"I can't even imagine how hard that must have been," whispered Iris sadly. 

"We just won. We just beat Zoom," said Barry hopelessly. "Why does it feel like I've just lost?"

"Because you've lost a lot in your life, Barry, more than most," admitted Iris. 

He rested his head against the banister. Into the dark sky he looked, wondering if Parker and his father were watching him grieve. He wondered if Melody Nora was meeting her grandmother, if his mother was loving Parker as much as he did. He wondered if they were proud. He wondered if Parker regretted saving him. 

"I feel so hollowed out inside right now," he said. He didn't find it a struggle to keep his voice from cracking, or tears from falling. He felt as though he wasn't real. "I feel more broken than I've ever felt in my life."

"I don't have the words to help you cope, Barry. But, despite where she is now, I think she might have a hand in doing that..."

Confused, Barry turned his eyes to Iris. She held the two books for him to take from her hands. He reached for them, sliding them on top of his knees. He ran his fingers across the first cover, fumbling with the buckle holding it together. He read the print on the inside cover, her writing, and closed it.

"What is this?" he whispered. 

"A way for you to come to peace with everything, hopefully," she said. She stood. "I'll give you some time alone."

Barry managed to nod. 

"I love you, Barry," said Iris quietly. 

He raised his chin, a pitiful smile on his lips. "You know, for the longest time, that was all I ever wanted to hear you say."

"It's not what you want to hear now, I know that, and I know you're not going to say it back. I don't expect you to. I just think it's something you need to hear," she explained. Her voice strengthened. "You waited for me for years, Barry. So, I am telling you, I am gonna do the same thing for you. Wherever you need to go, whatever you need to do, do it. And when you get back, I'll be here."

Barry nodded. "Thank you, Iris. For everything," he said. 

Iris offered a smile. She slipped through the door. 

Again, Barry returned his attention to the two books on his lap. He inhaled a deep breath and opened the first page once more. 

The Adventures of Parker Sylas
(Ft. The Flash)

He stared at the first suggestion on her list of working titles. He ran his fingers over the cursive writing, conflicted. Reserving his memories of Parker shouldn't happen through a book. He shouldn't have to yearn for her, his father, his daughter, or his mother.

Despite Iris confessing her love, despite the remaining family he had, it wasn't a life he felt comfortable in. It wasn't home anymore.

Into the window of the West house, he looked, silently saying his goodbyes to his old family. To them, he apologized for what he was about to do and for the memories he was going to change.

Then, Barry clutched the books tightly in his hand. He ran, aiming for a place those books could be put to rest.

He came to a stop in front of her grave. He crouched down, placing each book in between the masses of roses showering her headstone.

Parker Elizabeth Sylas Allen

Beloved daughter, wife, and friend.

January 14th 1991-May 24th 2016

"Life is locomotion."

"'Life is locomotion,'" read Barry.

He looked between the books and the quote on her headstone. A wild guess told him Iris ended the second book with Parker's death, but it was required to be partly fictional, considering it was only he and Parker who knew every little moment leading up to the end. 

Some part of Barry believed her last words had been planned for a long time. The way she uttered them, without pauses, or stuttering, but magnificently, told him that hours of practice had gone into fathoming a perfect goodbye. That it was.

Parker's final call was one Barry hadn't received until after. During the race of his life, she called and he hadn't answered. Nevertheless, she left him a voicemail. Her unwavering voice echoed in his ears. She knew what was going to happen, how, and she stayed strong. Brave. Unafraid.

"... these are my last words to you, love. They're not going to be basic words, because you know that I love you, that I'm proud, that I was happy. I just want to talk to you, tell you a few reminders for when I'm gone...

... Life is locomotion, Barry. If you're not moving, you're not living. There comes a time when you've got to stop running away from things and you have to start running towards something. You've got to forge ahead, keep moving, even if your path isn't lit. Trust that you'll find your way. Because, you will, Barry, you'll find your way without me..."

He shook his head at her gravestone, chuckling, "You and I don't share the same amount of faith in me, baby."

Barry twisted his wedding ring from his finger. He placed it on the single purple rose, his flower, and settled it in the center.

"You're going to hate me for what I'm about to do, I know it. I'm not sorry. You're right, Park, I have to keep moving, I have to run, and I am. I'm choosing to run to you," he admitted.

Then, in a flash, he disappeared into a the Speed Force.