My Not So One Night Stand

Chapter one: Hoe's & Bro's

Allowing the loud bass of the music to vibrate through my entire body, I sway my hips and relish in the feeling of being slightly intoxicated. Bright, coloured lights momentarily blind me, giving me no option but to close my eyes, hoping and praying in the meantime that my legs are stable enough to stay up without my sight.

"Let's go do some shots!" my best friend, Sasha, shouts, grabbing my arm and dragging me across the dance floor at 'Hoe's & Bro's,' London's finest night club.

Given the name of our chosen venue, it's easy to assume my friends and I like to keep it classy while on a night out.

At the bar, my other best friend, Luke, is midway through stage two of chatting up some very promiscuous-looking blonde and it seems he is making some real progress.

According to him, there are three consecutive stages of getting a woman into bed.

Stage one (also known as the icebreaker): Introduce yourself while maintaining strong, not to mention sexy, eye contact.

Stage two (more commonly known as the bump and grind): Pretend to bump into your prey while subtly but seductively grinding on them, preferably in the lower body region.

Stage three (something Sasha and I like to call the 'make or break'): This is the most dangerous move of all three and either results in a slap to the face or a girlish smile. If it happens to be the latter of the two, it's more often than not followed by a night of delicious, no-strings-attached sex. It consists of leaning in close to the person while whispering something—along the lines of how amazing she looks—in her ear while 'accidentally' grazing the side of her neck with lips and teeth. After that, according to Luke, she's putty in your hands, assuming he didn't receive a punch to the face, that is.

Although, to give credit where it's due, it's worked every time for him so far.

"Four shots of tequila, please!" shouts Sasha to the good-looking guy working behind the bar, who just so happens to be eyeing her up and down like a snack he's planning on eating later.

Knowing Sasha as well as I do, I'm sure she's only encouraging his dirty thoughts.

"Coming right up, beautiful," he replies, but not without sending a cheeky wink her way first.

From my left, Luke leans in, whispering into the blonde's ear and pushing his lips against the smooth skin of her neck. Not even two seconds later, she's laughing and placing her perfectly manicured hand on his upper arm, squeezing it slightly.

...And we have take off, ladies and gentlemen!

He sends me a knowing look over her shoulder before moving his head and locking his gaze onto his latest accomplishment. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I take hold of my first shot and hold it up, silently congratulating him.

That's my boy, I mentally think while downing the burning liquid, taking pleasure in its aftereffects. Grabbing the next one, I wait for Sasha and we both neck it together, toasting to each other while doing so.

"To another night of watching Luke chat up endless amounts of women, while we can't even manage to persuade a guy to buy us a drink," I say, amusement dripping through my already-slurring voice.

"Amen to that, sister," Sasha replies, wincing at the bitter taste of her shot.

Her chocolate waist-length hair hangs freely over her shoulders in loose curls and while I drink in her gorgeous appearance, there is no doubt in my mind that she can get any guy here tonight.

With the exception of Luke, of course.

That being said, finding a guy willing to part way with his money is a difficult task this day in age, thus resulting in us paying for our own drinks ninety percent of the time. I guess that's the consequence that comes with clubbing in 'Hoe's & Bro's.'