That Butler: Caring?

Chapter 8.

The next morning Ciel looked and felt exhausted. It was noticed by everyone, but what was even more odd was Sebastian. For the first time he looked genuinely tired. His eyelids were heavy and his movements somewhat slower than usual, and he kept a quiet monotone throughout the day.

The three servants were huddled behind a pillar, trying to work out what was wrong with the pair.

"Mister Sebastian looks tired, yes he does. I've never seen him like this... And the Young Master looks as if he hasn't slept a wink."

Mey-Rin looked down at the ground before returning her gaze to Bard and Finny.

"Yeah... Sebastian never looks this bad. I wonder what's the matter with them both?"

"I dunno... Something's eatin' them two, that's for sure. All we can do is make sure we don't give them any extra work, so we'll have to do our jobs extra well, right?"

"Right!"

Bard's words were echoed by the other two and they scurried off to attend to their jobs. What they didn't know is that Sebastian had been listening from the corner.

So I do look tired... And I know my Master didn't sleep last night. I want to speak to him about this but I cannot disobey a direct order... What can I do?

*****

Running his hands through his blue grey hair Ciel sighed and stared at his paperwork. Pushing the documents away he stood and rang the bell, calling for Sebastian so he could make him something sweet.

With a heavy sigh and downcast eyes Sebastian made his way up from the kitchen to his master's study, reluctant to even see him. As he entered the room his exhausted look caught the boy's attention, and his sadness became apparent when he spoke.

"You rang, My Lord?"

Those four, simple words. Words he had heard countless times before... But they sounded so different. Monotonous, dry, almost as if every syllable pained the demon to no end. All thoughts of a mid afternoon snack gone Ciel leaned forwards with his palms flat on the desk and fingers spread.

"Now it's my turn."

Puzzled, Sebastian raised his eyes to meet the Earl's gaze for the first time since their conversation the day before.

"There's something bothering you, Sebastian. I've never seen you look tired before."

The butler expected an order from his master to tell him what was wrong, but what came next shocked him.

"You might not want to talk after yesterday and I understand that. But if you're willing I'd like you to tell me what the problem is, as best you can."

Genuinely taken aback Sebastian's crimson eyes widened, and he almost lost his composure for a moment.

"M-My Lord... I..."

For once the cold, ruthless, confident demon he usually was disappeared as he struggled to find the right words. The look on his master's face wasn't exactly helping either. It was almost understanding... An expression Sebastian had never expected to see from Lord Phantomhive.

"Sit down if it will help."

Motioning towards a chair in the corner Ciel offered his butler a seat, something he thought he would never do in a million years. But he still couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt that had been eating away at him all of the previous night and all of the day so far, and he felt he somehow had to atone for his actions.

Once again Sebastian remained silent, though he did walk over to the chair and pull it into the middle of the room. As he sat down and stared blankly at the wall Ciel almost felt a pang of remorse for what he had done to him. He, Ciel Phantomhive, the Queen's Guard Dog, had reduced one of Hell's most powerful demons to a confused, emotional mess. A small part of him wanted to be proud of his power over Sebastian, but the guilt that weighed so heavily on him pushed those thoughts down into the depths of the abyss with disgust at his lack of empathy.

After what seemed like an age the butler finally moved, and opened his mouth to speak.

"After yesterday, My Lord... I cannot deny your order hurt me. As much as I am disgusted by my own weakness my only priority is you, and no longer simply due to our contract. The fact that one of my kind has fallen f-"

Sebastian immediately cut himself off, horrified that he had allowed such words to slip past his lips so easily. The pained expression and the regret that stabbed at his chest were enough to show anyone he felt a fool.
Ciel barely blinked. His facial expression did not change but his mind was running wild.

Did he mean what I think he meant? Was that really what he was going to say? Does Sebastian... Love me? It's ridiculous, it's crazy, it has to be a lie... But how can it be?

The boy's thoughts ran amock, causing chaos in his usually calm mind. Slowly he lowered himself back into his chair, and with a terrified look Sebastian turned to him.

"My Lord, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No. You meant want you said and after the state you've been in I have no reason not to believe you. I just... I need some time to think."

The Earl interrupted Sebastian's hurried apology with a mumbled reply, a reply which caused the demon to stand abruptly.

"You can go, Sebastian. Thank you."

To hear his master thank him was the final straw. The butler strode out of the room and back to his quarters at a hurried pace, ignoring the looks he got from the other servants. When he got there he slammed the door shut and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

There is no way in hell the Young Master would return my affections. If anything he is more likely to throw me out of the manor for even thinking such things. How could I have been so careless? I know his soul is one of a kind, but I can't believe that's all I want anymore... What is this boy doing to me?