Freak tried Art (3)

it's time to say it

(Do me a favour and read the whole text? Please?)

I'll take a break.
I need to sort everything out and I can't handle that I was left by another person I consider friend (she's a good friend and she did so much for me. she has good reasons and I'm hoping she'll come back. I also hope she won't comit suicide. Be so nice as to look after her for me while I'm gone, please? Her user name is @Gone_For_A_Little as of now but she changes it often. She has a pretty tough life and I don't want her to be alone...)
So I feel like a twig that was broken in half.
I couldn't stay strong, I cut again, and I'm not proud.
I couldn't be a supportive friend.

Right now, I want home. I want to hug and comfort my poor Angel who has a tough time thanks to her broken leg (and other stuff I won't mention). I want to make her feel better, do something for her; wanna run up and down the stairs to get her ice cream and watch movies; wanna make her feel good and forget about her life for a bit (since her bro doesn't help her and only concerns about his girlfriend. That douche)

I want to help but I'm stuck here. I'm useless as a friend and human being.

Also, I'm back to practice pretending. Pretend smiles, pretend happiness. I haven't done that often at the beginning of this year. It wasn't pretended happiness most of the time. But now I need to practice what I was a natural talent at, once.

I hope your not mad at me. I promise to come back. Promise to finish the pics I've started. I'll come back till the 17th of October if not earlier. I won't leave you hanging on my 1 year anniversary on wattpad.
I know it's a long time, 1-2 months if I'm correct? But I need it. I need it badly.
I'm really glad I could find people like you guys on here. I'm thankful. I consider you friends and I hope you return those feelings. I hope you can wait for me; if not, that's fine, too. No one has to. I won't force anyone to like me or wait for me.
I'm sorry that I couldn't find another way for me but...

It's time to say it, time to say it:
Goodbye, goodbye...
(~Nickelback/Photograph)

I've written you guys a poem, if you can't read it up there:
I'm sorry for...
... being too weak to withstand
... being such a horrible friend
... being not worth any love
... being just not enough
... being useless, forgotten
... being lonely, lost, rotten
... failing what I tried achieving.
But mostly, I'm sorry for leaving.

The cuts in my flesh try to prove my words;
I'm broken, I'm alone and it just hurts.
The thoughts in my head, they've finally won.
I was left hanging too often, now I want to be gone.
Don't worry, dear friend, cause I will come back,
When I solved most problems and stopped being a wreck.
I hope you'll forgive me for what I now say:
It's over for now, I'll be on my way...

I'm glad it actually rhymes...
Hope you like. Sorry for those depressed lines.

Also, if you want, you can go to my second account @DatDeutscheKartoffel ... if you need something to do while I'm gone, you could look through what I got on there... there's also a book with my old art, I'm sure you're interested in that, right...?

So... farewell? I'll miss you... listen to Lush Life by Zara Larsson or Hot Fudge by Robie Williams and be happy, kay? *unsurely opens arms for a hug*