The Reason Why

To Emeroolo, for making me amazing covers. Thank yoou!

Put on the song on the right --------------------> As you read this(:

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It’s been two years. It’s been two years since we last spoke, two years since we last saw each other, two years since I saw your eyes close forever.

Two years.

And I’m still standing.

I miss you, I miss your touch, your smile, the way you would always wake up at five in the morning just to be my wakeup call. I miss the walks we take every evening, I miss your soft lips against mine, and I miss it when you always tell me “I love you” and kiss me. I miss every part about you. I miss you.

How am I even standing right this moment?

How am I still living?

How am I still surviving?

You were my world, everything I could possibly want and more. And my world was taken from me…you were taken away from me.

People always told me that you were no good for me, that all you would do in the end was hurt me.

And you did, but not in the way everyone thought you would. I didn’t believe what anyone said, and I ended up happy. I was happy because I had you. Every moment I spent with you was pure bliss, even your last moments.

Why?

Why did fate have to turn out this way? Can I ever be happy?

You’ve always told me that everything happens for a reason, it was something you live by every day. I remember when you came to me one day telling me that you got suspended. I, of course was horrified. On the other hand, you just shrugged off like it was nothing.

“Everything happens for a reason.” You said.

I was doubtful at your way of thinking, but during your suspension, something good happened.I remember when you were stuck at home (while I was at school), doing nothing, and just staring out the window. At least, that’s what you told me. An elderly lady across the street was picking up her mail, and suddenly collapsed. You told me you ran right out of the house, ignoring your mom’s yells as she told you to get back in.

You came to that elderly lady and kept her alive, pumping on her chest to revive the beating of her heart. All the while you shouted at your mom to call 911, and they came.

You saved her, the doctors at the hospital told you that if you hadn’t came, and she would have passed on. But you came, and she is still alive. Not in the best condition, but doing okay.

You saved a life.

After that I decided to accept your view of life, everything happens for a reason.

Now, I don’t believe in it at all. I know you saved her, you saved a life. Although, if everything happens for a reason, why did you leave?

Why did you never come back to life?

Why did that bullet pierce through your heart?

Why was it, that everything about you that I had come to love and adore was ripped from my grasps forever?

Why?

I waited for years, two years, and nothing happened. Everything happens for a reason? I think that only worked for you…

Because, the very day your beautiful eyes were fluttered closed forever, no reason came for me.

Maybe it’s for me to write this.

Maybe it’s for me to write this, and share my story with everyone else.

Maybe it’s for me to suffer?

Maybe.

I miss you, I want you back, and I love you.

As I’m writing this…I think my reason finally came. Maybe I can finally make peace with myself and stop blaming myself. Maybe I can stop causing myself more pain.

Maybe that’s the reason why.