english ✱ muke

一

mikey

"trang!" i scream as loudly as my lungs allow me to.

"what?" the punk, purple haired girl screams back.

"where the fuck did you put my headphones?" i glare at her, crossing my arms angrily.

"i gave them back to you already!" she states shrilly, glaring back at me; just as intimidatingly

"well clearly you didn't because i don't have them," i purse my lips.

trang gives me a dirty look before reaching into my pocket to pull out a pair of white earbuds. they dangle from her outstretched hand and suddenly i feel embarrassed.

"你哑巴娘," she states harshly.

"oh c'mon, don't go around cursing my in chinese. what the fuck is that suppose to mean?" i frown at my asian friend.

"it means 'you dumb motherfucker'," she smirks, resting her petite hands on her black lace top.

i roll my eyes and look in a different direction; anywhere that trang isn't to be honest. much to my disappointment, a notice a blond haired boy beaming as he rushes over to us.

"hey!" he grins widely. "i'm luke hemmings. i'm recruiting people for the big garbage cleanup, would you two lovely people like to sign up? it will be great for the environment."

i scowl, looking at the social, talkative boy. oh i know him alright; he's the most annoying twat in the world. he's always doing volunteer work and generally bothering everyone.

"um, i don't know. how does that sound michael?" trang shrugs her shoulder, shooting me a look.

i glare at her for trying to involve me in this social situation. luke perks up and beams at me as well.

"it'll be great fun," luke tries to convince me.

picking up garbage isn't 'great fun'.

"please, please, please? we're only a hop away from completely ruining our earth and we must try to stop it before it's too late. step by step, we can fix our world and bring back the green!" luke smiles radiantly.

"uh, me no speak english." i lie, trying to get the blue eyed boy to fuck off.

"you don't? what language do you speak then?" he asks, quirking a blond eyebrow.

"uh." i hesitate, looking at trang for help. she shrugs hopelessly. "chinese. me speak chinese."

"oh that's great! i took a course on speaking chinese for the past three summers! 如果你愿意，我可以教你英语!" luke speaks fluently.

(translation: if you want, i can teach you english)

my mind flurries to try to understand what he's saying. i glance helplessly at trang, but once again she shrugs. i try to remember any phrase that trang has spoken to me but the only word i can say in chinese is 'yes'.

"uh, 是." i reply dryly, hoping that my answer fits with his statement.

(translation: yes)

"伟大, 也许我可以带你出去吃晚饭 所以我们可以开始." luke winks, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

(translation: great, maybe i can take you out to dinner so we can start)

i physically have to contain myself from blurting out the truth; that i don't actually speak chinese. trang looks like she's trying to hold back laughter which is never a good sign.

"是," i repeat dumbly.

(translation: yes)

trang snorts and she covers her mouth to refrain her loud laugher from escaping. i honestly have no idea what i'm getting myself into, i pray that it's nothing too bad. i wish i listened to trang when she suggested that i learn chinese so we can roast people without them knowing.

"精彩, 我来接你明天. 你有空8点?" luke grins.

(translation: wonderful, i'll pick you up tomorrow. are you free 8:00?)

"是," i mumble for what feels like the millionth time.

(translation: yes)

"我能得到你的地址来接你?" luke glances into my green eyes.

(translation: can i get your address to pick you up?)

"sure! he lives on thirty four saint street," trang cuts in sweetly.

"alright thanks! tell him that i'll see him tomorrow! i need to go ask more people to sign up for this garbage clean up thing," luke smiles like he always does.

then, he turns around and bolts to the next pair of strangers. when he's far away enough, i spin around to glare at trang.

"what the fuck was that conversation about?" i demand, clenching my fist angrily.

"your conversation with luke? oh, lover boy just asked you out on a date." trang smirks.

"you're joking!" i gasp, feeling empty inside.

"nope. and you agreed," she grins devilishly.

"if i knew what he was saying, i would've never agreed! why didn't you help me out? why didn't you tell him that i was married or some shit?" i demand, running a hand through my blue hair.

"i could sense a love blossoming so i allowed it to grow," she giggles.

"oh fuck you," i curse at her, feeling extremely frustrated.

"no, don't fuck me, save that for lover boy. he's picking you up at eight tomorrow."

with a teasing swish of her glossy hair, trang turns around to strut off.

-

guys, i do not speak chinese. like all these translations are from google translate so please cope with me. i only speak one language and that is english.

but aside from that, i love you guys ;)

- rose ( aka @-riptidemuke)