RESCUED AND RISEN

Chapter 5

This was just down right ridiculous. It was as if I
was an animal or some kind of prisoner. I was confined to the bed and I meant literally. After my last stunt last week when I tried to kill myself, Lucas had one of my hand handcuffed to the bed's headboard and in addition to that he got some guy to come sit there in the room with me as some guard or watchdog I supposed. He would pull my handcuff whenever I needed to use the bathroom, stand guard outside to make sure I didn't try anything like that again and then handcuff me again when I was done. I was still having withdrawal symptoms and feeling sick to the point where it was starting to get painful. I am sure I'm going to die soon, and the worst part is being confined to this room wasn't helping I really needed to go see or talk to my mom but of course I was again denied that opportunity. Crying, whimpering and begging
didn't work on this guy either. After Lucas had supposedly comforted me that evening when he saved me from drowning myself, I hadn't seen him since. He just got this guy Jay or whatever his name is to constantly watched me, he couldn't be much older than me in anyway and whenever I asked him for Lucas the answer I got was he was busy or working. I think he was just avoiding me though.

I was sick to the bone now, I know I had lost a considerably amount of weight since I haven't really been eating in weeks now and I've been passing out whatever little I taste and throwing up a lot. Hence, the bucket they gave me so I wouldn't have to be pulled from my handcuffs that regularly. I didn't know why this Lucas guy didn't just let me die or better yet killed me himself. If he was going to try and get me clean the least he could've done was to try see if there was an easier way to go about this, like I don't know drop me into a rehabilitation center or get me something else to deal with my cravings and withdrawals.

I was feeling so much worst I don't know if I was ever going to make it out clean alive. My head feels like it was going to fall off and I'm pretty sure I was starting to hear voices in my head. My heart was constantly racing as if it was going to jump out of my mouth not to mention the nauseous feelings that was hitting me along with the other symptoms. I could feel vomit rising in my stomach so I reached for the bucket as I empty my already empty stomach into it. The bucket was filled with mostly water. As I was finished a bottle of water was passed to me, I looked up at the guy before taking it with my free hand and rinsed out my mouth.

"You alright?" He asked me.

"Why do you care?" I asked in a bitter tone. "Y'all just have me chained up in her like some underprivileged dog anyway, so why would you care!?"

"You being handcuffed to that bed is your fault. If you hadn't tried to kill yourself last week I don't think you'd be confined to the bed. It's for your own good" he replied.

"What the hell do you know what's for my good huh!? If you or Lucas or anything wants what's good for me you'd let me go!" I screamed with contempt.

"I know what it feels like to be having withdrawal symptoms. You feel like you're about to die, you can't function without the drugs and you're mad at the world when you're being denied the chance to go get a hit" Jay replied. "I've been there, trust me. I know its hard but believe me when I say it'll get worst before it gets better are when it does, it'll be totally worth it".

"I-Is that your idea of a pep talk or inspiration or encouragement? It'll get worst before it gets better?" I asked. "If you've been there you'll know how much pain I'm in right now and let me go".

"That wouldn't help. Letting you go would only send you right to a dealer and you'll be right back where you've started" he replied. "You have to focus on getting better, getting clean".

"Getting clean hurts" I cried. "I just wanna die, why don't you just let me die or better yet why not just kill me? Please"

"Why would I kill you?" He asked surprised by my request.