The Birds And The Bees (The Baby Project #1) (REWRITING)

C.5~ Yeah Yeah Yeah

Someone should have warned me how bad of an idea it was to bring a man into a department store, one that specialized in baby clothes and supplies, at that. 

As we dragged ourselves through Toys N' More, Xavier would stop every few seconds to make sexual innuendos about the toys. He didn't even seem to really care about the people that would look in his direction, and I couldn't help but admire him for it.

I would love it if I didn't care about what people thought of me. But no matter how hard I try to deny it, I did.

"Xavier, I'm going to say this as sweetly as I can. Please stop." I finally said. I sent him a dark look over my shoulder as he dropped the stuffed animal in his hands. He was running the other through his thick brown hair, amused.

"Remind me to never bring you to a Toys N' More again." I muttered as I glanced back at the list Dr. Issacs had given me and headed down the clothing aisle. I found a few onesies, but they were quickly ripped from my grip before I could set them in the cart beside Lily's carrier.

"These are so girly!" Xavier grumbled, "Get her something more neutral." He gestured toward a row of unisex ones, varying from black to a dull gray. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the clothes from him, tossing them into the cart.

"They're more expensive. I have a budget you know. My parents have absolutely no idea I'm taking from my college fund here." I snapped as I grabbed a few pacifiers and tossed them into the cart, mentally checking them off the list. My mom did know, we just weren't sure whether we should tell Dad or not, considering we were technically stealing from my college funds.

"I said I could help," Xavier started.

"I don't need your help." I muttered, surprised by my reaction. I shook my head and continued through the store. Xavier was a few paces behind me, then he'd throw himself into step beside me and hold a variety of toys over Lily and asked her if she wanted them. 

I had to admit, as irritated and annoyed as Xavier Morgan made me, he was good with her. Despite Xavier his tough guy, loner façade, he had showed that there was a heart under all his flannels and leather jackets. 

"She's mean." I could hear him telling Lily, her pink blanket pushed back over her carrier as he smiled down at her. I tried to fight a smile, but didn't respond as Xavier spoke quietly to her.

"You're a lucky girl." The cashier's quiet voice broke me from my daze. She looked to be in her late thirties or early forties, her dark haired peppered with gray,  dark eyes filled with sadness as she stared at Xavier. "When I got pregnant at your age, he left me to raise my son by myself. I think this boy here is a keeper." I nodded slowly, biting my tongue to prevent myself from stating the obvious- that Xavier wasn't my boyfriend and that Lily wasn't actually my daughter.

"Yeah." is what I said instead as she rang everything up. I slowly turned my head to look at Xavier and the baby, he had bowed his head so he was only inches from Lily's face, kissing her small hand. I didn't fight the smile that made it's way onto my face this time.

For a guy that acted like he didn't care about anyone or anything, he really was great with her. And maybe. . . just maybe, Xavier Morgan wasn't as bad as I thought.

**

"Bea, honey? Are you all right?" My mom asked, joining my brother and Dad on the couch. They were all staring at me, clearly worried. My dad's eyes were on the bundle of blankets in my arms. I could tell just by the way his jaw was twitching that Mom must have explained the plan to him, and he didn't approve of it at all. 

"What's going on?" Brice tore his eyes from the basketball game on TV and looked to Lily in my arms. "Why do you still have that baby?"

Mom reached out and squeezed my brothers shoulder. "We're going to be taking Lily in until we get this situation all figured out."

"What?" Brice looked from me to Mom. "We? So we all have to take care of the baby?"

"No, the responsibility will be mostly on Beatrice and myself, though we'd appreciate help." Mom answered

"Xavier  also said he'd help me. The letter asked for both of us to take care of her." I added, a little nervous.

All three of them looked toward me in confusion.

Why the hell was I worried about what they thought of Xavier helping me?

"Morgan? You think he'll actually give a shit about a child, especially one that isn't even his? He didn't want to help you with The Baby Project. What makes you think he will help you with this?" He nodded toward Lily, who had started moving and was reaching for the hem of my shirt.

I thought back to how Xavier had been at the store earlier, how much he had loved talking and playing with her. There had been a light that I had never seen in any seventeen year old boy's eyes. It was a look that made me want to believe that he would really be there for her, to help me.

"I don't know, I just do." Even as the words left my mouth, I wasn't really all that sure of them myself.

**

I laid the bright pink blanket down in the bassinet, sighing in relief now that I knew it was done. I turned around to find Lily still in the swing I had bought her this morning. I sat down on the ground in front of her a few seconds later, watching her start to doze off as the quiet lullaby started to play.

"You'll be good for me, right? You'll help me?" I whispered, laying my hand on top of hers. Her eyes peeled back open, but she didn't move. "I won't regret this, will I? Please, Lily. Be my God send," I breathed out, smiling weakly.

I wanted someone to promise me that this was a risk worth taking, that I wasn't ruining my life by going out of my way for this child. I wanted someone to assure me that no matter what happens, Lily will still care for me at the end of all of this.

It really is kind of funny that the only person that seems to actually understand this is Xavier. The guy who had blackmailed me into setting him up with my best friend. The guy that held thousands of words and constellations in his eyes, years of torture that he believed no one could see.

I had spent most of my life observing my surroundings, observing people. And some part of me, deep down, wanted to see the good in Xavier. I knew he was hiding something, he had to be. No one could be so okay with who he is, how stares and looks of disgust in his direction don't affect him. No one could possibly be that okay with the world around them, with themselves.

***AN***

*Edited*

Sorry for another filler chapter. I promise the next will be better!

Let me know what you guys thought!

~ChasingMadness24