Haven [Marvel | Bucky Barnes]

Chapter 17

The sunflower had lasted all summer.

But by the time Autumn turned to Winter the vibrant yellow had faded and the lively green had begun to brown and weaken as the plant reached the end of its life. By the time the first snow fell it was long gone.

And Iris couldn't handle being in that house anymore. When it had just been memories of her Aunt Lynne tied to the skinny townhouse it had felt good to stay, like she was staying close to her aunt's memory by staying in her home. But then James came into her life...and then he left. It became too much. It wasn't long before the feeling of missing was overwhelming. The feeling of loss that she'd felt over losing her aunt had begun to ease by the time James appeared in her doorway. And then he became a fixture in her life far quicker than Iris could have ever anticipated.

Then he'd left. The weight of missing him on top of still missing her aunt tipped the balance. It was too much to stay in that house. She justified it with practical reasons; she couldn't find reliable tenants, the payments were too much, she was just one person in a house meant for many. She could keep finding reasons if she wanted.

But the truth of the matter was that everywhere she looked all she saw was what she'd lost:

...Her aunt humming off-key as she paid bills and organized her bookkeeping at the chipped formica kitchen table...

...Her mom bickering lightly with her aunt over take-out as a very young Iris sat near the window, fighting the temptation to reach out to fiddle with her aunt's collection of sunflower-etched glasses...

...Moving in with her aunt after her mom died and Lynne somehow making her feel like she always belonged there...

...Sneaking in in the middle of the night and thinking she'd gotten away with it until her aunt called out 'goodnight' from behind her closed and dark bedroom door...

...Watching bad reality TV with her aunt as they sat on the couch with their nachos and tried to out-do each other with disparaging commentary...

...Hugging her aunt before running out the door because she was late for work...

...James appearing, holding out that sad piece of newspaper...

...James smiling each time she agreed to join him on the roof for dinner or just to sit and watch the world go by...

...The bewildered look on his face melting into one of tentative delight the first time she'd leaned over the back of the couch to wrap her arms around him in a hug...

...The indignant look he'd given her when she'd teased him about how adorable the cleft in his chin was only for him to pay her back in kind with an impish glint in his eyes as he teased her about how adorable she was when she was frustrated...

...His eyes twinkling and lip tugging when he caught her grumbling loudly about the bookkeeping that her aunt always seemed to have so little trouble managing...

...Him showing up outside the fire-escape door right as she was getting in after a shift as though knowing she'd had a rough day...

...Pulling her into his arms in a spontaneous attempt to teach her to dance, his lips tugging at her clumsy attempts to follow along even as he managed to twirl her around...

...The faint, pleased sound of a sigh easing out of his chest as she curled up next to him on the couch...

...That last night...

By the time spring rolled around the house was up for sale. Fixing it up and scouring it clean with fervent vigor had gotten her through the winter; well, that and the regular texts and phone calls she exchanged with Sam Wilson, begging for updates on his search for James. Even though he never had anything new to tell her, it was still comforting, not only that he was still answering her, but that he was still looking, that he was still working to find James.