Ambience ~ n.m.

27; Poison Tastes Sweet

'Calling Me' by Aquilo

"A sudden thought of disbelief clouds my every conscience.

But how do we seek refuge here?

I panic a bit to find out that this is all I've got.

I panic a bit to find out that this is all I need."

I hadn't slept much last night, but when I finally did, waking up in the morning brought me nothing but dread. Klaus and I had separated rooms, he stayed in his and I was given a new, brighter one. Like last night, it was emotionally draining.

The morning sun welcomed me, but it wasn't mutual. Why did it have to shine today? Couldn't it be rainy and horrible to match my saddened state? No, of course not. I had to feel worse about myself with the golden sun seeping through the cream drapes and to the cream bedspread. Why couldn't this be black like Klaus'?

I slept in yesterday's clothes and I cried off every bit of makeup from yesterday. My hair was knotted and probably looked like a rats nest. I sniffed sadly as I sat up and saw the other side of the bed empty.

I needed to stop this pitiful attitude. Yesterday happened and I don't know how I'll fix it or if I ever will. I know for sure that feeling sorry for myself wasn't the way to fix it. And I wasn't going to force myself to feel bad about lying. Everything I've done has been in protecting the ones I love, whether Klaus understood that or not.

I stood up and took a deep breath. I walk to the bathroom and take a very long shower. I wash my matted hair and cleansed myself of my sadness. I didn't really feel hungry, but I knew that I have to at least eat something for the baby.

I jumped out of the shower and dressed into something that made me feel confident. Black jeans that somehow fit over my growing belly, a bright red, backless but flowy shirt, and black boots. I braided my short hair into braids to keep it out of the way and put minimal makeup.

I walk downstairs, but nearly fell down the last few steps. I let out a breath and used the railing to keep myself upright. I sat down on the bottom step and breathed to calm my fast beating heart. I started to feel nauseous and dizzy. My knees shook so violently, I felt like I was on a roller coaster.

"Harper? Are you okay?" Hayley asks me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I shook my head in confusion as my head danced from reality to fantasy. "Do you want me to get Klaus?" she asked. My attention shot straight up at his name and I look up to her.

"No. I'm okay. Just help me get to the kitchen," I order her. She mutters a light 'okay' before putting her arm under my shoulder blades. She helps me stand, but my legs can barely do that. She basically carries me to the kitchen, but stops. My eyes are closed as I hear voices talk around me.

"What the hell happened?" a voice asks Hayley.

"I don't know. I found her, nearly throwing up on the stairs," she replies.

I feel all eyes go to me, but don't have the energy to look up. "How long has it been since she's eaten?" a familiar voice asks Hayley.

"No clue," another voice replies.

Another pair of arms takes me, this time, they're stronger. I feel my body being set down on a chair. I rest my arms and head on a table in front of me. Minutes later, I hear a glass bowl being set in front of me. I will my eyes open and see a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, with Elijah sitting next to me. I force me head up and grab the spoon. I take a bite and in a minute the Lucky Charms are gone. I felt like a million bucks, after that single bowl of cereal.