Freak tried Art (3)

Today's lesson

My lesson for today is: never trust anyone's promises. They're all lies. And I idiot tried opening up. I learned my lesson now. After having lived through it various times already, I finally learned my lesson. Not even people on the internet keep their promises.

Don't get me wrong, I love you guys. But I don't think I can trust you anymore. Love is strengthened by trust but it's not the same. I don't think I can trust anymore, after this happened to me:

I read this text in my inbox by a person that means very much to me. I trusted her when she said she wouldn't ever leave me, and I trusted her with variaus other things, too...

I can't handle it anymore. Everything's full of lies. I'm sick of it. I'll shut myself off again. It was easier that way. Keeping all my anger, stress, problems and life to myself is probably the best idea. That way, I don't have to fear and you guys don't have to put up with me.

Once again, my trust was hit with fists and stomped on afterwards. I shouldn't be surprised anymore. it ain't new. I'm still waiting for Angel to leave me for another of her friends. It wouldn't be too surprising... I'm really distrusting everything and everyone right now.

I'm hurt and heartbroken and I regret opening up. So much. Tell me, why did I think the internet would be any diffrent from real life? How could I possibly think that my trust was anything worth here, if it wasn't irl? (Those are rethoric questions)
Ah... I've been dumb, so dumb and idiotic.

So, this is just to tell you that I'll now try to keep the texts under my pics only concerned to the pic itself. I'll reduce the stories bout my real life or even stop completely. I'll stop posting on my second account about that, too, and resort to only story writing.
I don't wanna be faced with such situations more than necessary, and just now, it got over my head.

I know you guys said you'd be there for me and that you care, but me being filled up with distrust, I simply can't believe you, no matter how true it might be. Although there's still one person whom I trust deeply. Only because they really tried to help me whenever I even only  gave a little, wittle hint of being stressed or troubled.

I'll still talk to you guys if you want to (although no one ever texted me, only texted back sometimes when I asked for a talk)... just, I'd like to mostly cut you out of my real life. No talking about my problems or my life as it is now. Just... normal talks...

I'll miss talking openly cause I wouldn't get hate here but... I'm too scared.

I hope you'll understand that I also will cover up my mood again. Just happy little Freak, get used to it.

Maybe, I can someday gain enough courage to open up again, but for now, I just can't.