I Can Treat You Better. ➳ [n.h.]

Chapter 35.

Allie's POV :)

*two weeks later*

He did it.

He had sex with me.

I mean not that I haven't had sex before...I just...

I...I don't know what to say. What to think...or even what to do...

I open my eyes and see Jonah sleeping beside me.

I move away from him. Far away...

The sight of him disturbs me now.

I get out of bed. I don't give two fucks about what Jonah thinks. I'm done with him. I'm done with everything. I go into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I take off my clothes and just stare at myself in the mirror.

I have red and purple bruises all over my body. All over my body...

My cheeks are swollen because of how many times Jonah has hit me in the past couple of days.

I look fucking terrible. Absolutely terrible.

I look at my arms and see all the cuts on them.

Did I mention that I started to cut now?

Well I have...

I did this to myself. I could have said no. But, I didn't. I could be with Niall right now. But, I made a stupid decision.

2 weeks has been a long time. My thoughts have been eating me alive. The feelings of guilt, sadness, and heartbreak have been sucking the life out of me.

Each and every day I hoped that Niall would walk through the door and rescue me. I wanted it to be just like a story tale. The prince comes and rescues the princess and they live happily ever after.

But sadly, that's not the case...


I wake up everyday hoping that I will wake up next to Niall. But, I open my eyes to the sight of Jonah. I haven't said two words to him. I don't talk anymore. I remain silent and keep my thoughts to myself. Even though that may not seem like the best idea, I don't care. I deserve to feel this pain. I broke Niall's heart...

I dream about Niall. Kissing me. Calling me beautiful. The only time that I felt beautiful was when I was with him. And then I would wake up and be back in reality...a reality without Niall.

I feel like a wasted space. Just absolutely nothing without him.

What is Niall doing right now? I wonder... I mean I fucking broke his heart.

God...

He trusted me and I trusted him. I was in love with him and he was in love with me. We both promised that we would never leave each other. But, that's exactly what I did. I broke our promise.

I run a bath and sit down in the hot water. Tears start to fall. What have I done? Niall is absolutely perfect. He doesn't deserve any of this. I am in so much pain right now. My heart feels like it's been stomped on a whole bunch of times. I start to sob silently so I don't wake Jonah up.

My life feels like hell. And I feel like it's only going to get worse for me...

But I have to stay strong for Niall. We will be together soon. I just know it...

I still have the slightest bit of hope. Hope is what has kept me going for the past couple of weeks.

I have to stay strong...


Niall's POV :)


I pop the lid to another beer and take a big, long sip.

No matter how many beers I have drank in the past two weeks... the pain is still there.


Allie's gone.

She's gone...

The pain hasn't gotten any better. It's actually gotten worse. After I saw her in the same car with Jonah, I felt like I had been stabbed in the chest with a knife. I just cannot believe it... But I have to. I saw it with my own two eyes after all...

I feel empty.

Lifeless.

Lost.

I feel nothing. My whole body is numb. I have been in this room for the past two weeks...not bothering to talk to anyone. 2 weeks has been enough time to let my thoughts consume me. Maybe I did something wrong and I just don't know it yet?


Days one, two, and three I sat up in my bed waiting for Allie to walk through the door and hop in my arms.

Days four and five I still hoped she would walk through the door. But, my hope was starting to slowly fade away...

By day seven I started to say fuck it. Maybe she's not coming back after all...


Today's day 14 of hell.

And I am officially convinced that she is not coming back. So what's better than sitting in a room alone and feeling your heart slowly rot away?

I take another sip of my beer and try to hold back my tears.

I thought she loved me? I actually didn't believe the words she said to me a few weeks ago. I really didn't. But when she had said it, I had no reason but to believe it.

"I don't love you Niall," she said. "It was all a fucking mistake."


I throw my beer against the wall and it shatters. How could she do this to me? HOW! I hear a knock on the door and the boys' walk in.

"Niall are you okay?" Harry asks.

I look at him and ball my fists. "Oh yeah," I say sarcastically. "I'm just great!" I say before throwing my hands up in the air. "The fucking love of my life left me and you fucking have the nerve to ask me if I'm okay?!" I shout. "HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GUYS GONNA ASK ME IF I'M OKAY?!"

The boys take a step back and look shocked. "We are just worried Ni-" Liam says before I cut him off.

"Don't fucking worry about me," I spit at them. "Just leave me alone."

"But Ni-" Zayn says.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I roar. "ALL OF YOU! GET.THE.FUCK.OUT." I really do fucking mean it. I don't wanna see anyone. I want everyone to disappear...

All of the boys walk out except for Harry. He looks at me with eyes full of sadness. "Go." I growl. Harry finally walks out the room and I am left alone.

I fall back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I remember when Allie used to lay in this bed. Next to me. I would kiss her lips. Tell her that she was beautiful...and then she would tell me that I was crazy.

I look to the side of the bed and see the picture of her and me together at a party. Her beautiful, gorgeous smile that I love to see.

But, now I might not even get to see it anymore.

I throw the picture frame on the ground and it shatters. I don't care. My heart is shattered.

Broken...just like the picture frame.


"Why did you leave me Al?" I whisper hoping that somehow she would be able to hear me. But the things is that this is reality. Not a fairytale.

The fact that she left me for fucking Jonah makes my blood boil. I...I...God I can't even think straight! I treated her better than Jonah ever did. I showed her love unlike that pathetic waste of space Jonah.

I need another beer.

I reach into the case of beer that I have beside me and pick up another one. I pop open the tab and take a sip. I still don't feel better...


But, I feel like this aching, dull pain is something that I will never be able to get rid of.


I take another sip and sigh.

Maybe this is what I'll do for the rest of my life?

Just drink every day away...and try to make the pain go away.
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xx Kayla :)