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0.22 here we go again (luke pov )

my lips parted while her green eyes poured into mine

she actually wanted a response this is the first we would ever talk about us ever having another chance at a relationship other than a friendship

"yea i honestly think we would have another chance"

i leaned in looking more closely are her lips she pulled in closer

for a slight moment i thought here it was a kiss i hadn't felt in three years yet i could perfectly remember how amazing it was to be in that moment

we were just an inch apart before our lips connected but then she pulled back

"Jake i can't do that. "

for a moment i had forgotten about Jake and for a spilt moment i had wished he wasnt in the picture because i would be able to pursue Emma right now

"I just can't in the conditions he's in it'd be hurtful."

i sighed

"Let me ask you this ; are you only with Jake now because he has brain cancer or do you still truly love him?"

she seemed so offended that i had dared to ask her that question

but at one point i just had to ask i didnt want to reject my own thoughts about Emma and i

it would be a sin to want her so badly and not even in a sexual way but it feels like a burning sensation as if i was committing a sin for wanting something that wasn't mine perhaps I would be saved but not really saved .

because the thoughts of emma and i ever being together are too perfect in my mind to ever stop thinking about them.

"I love Jake i can see myself spending the rest of my life with him and being perfectly happy full of energy ."

my heart shattered right then and there like millions of daggers were making my way through my heart until i bleed out

"but i also can see us giving each other another chance what im trying to say is im confused because on one hand i love Jake so much but i still strongly believe we're endgame whether we get together soon or until were 74 ."

i smiled for a second

my hand lifted until her face was in my hands with my thumb on her lip

"Im never going to force you into starting anything with me unless you're fully over Jake and its okay to be confused im just letting you know I've waited three years i can wait more."

she smiled "thank you for understanding i just feel horrible like how can you love someone so much but be confused if you want to be with them ?"

right as i was about to answer she got a call

suddenly her facial expression had changed all the color had washed from her face

"IS HE OKAY ? OKAY OKAY ON MY WAY TELL HIM I LOVE HIM!"

i could already tell something had happened to Jake which meant this conversation we had just had was going way because knowing Emma she would say this conversation shouldnt had happened

"i'll drive you."

"No Luke we just i -"

"Emma relax you're shaken up let me drive you."

the whole ride there she spent looking at videos of her and Jake and i realized if he hadn't gotten sick they would've been endgame and i broke my heart as well because i felt as if i was ruining their chance of being endgame

maybe Emma and i were just a one time thing

but right when i said that her hand slipped into my right hand

and again i felt at home again and i could hear my heartbeat again giving me a sense of living because whenever i was with her i was living ..

TBC