Until The Very End

Chapter 13

Elizabeth's POV

"And well, now you know."

That's what you all think I will say, right? Everything is now a happy ending.

Well you thought wrong.

I didn't spoke to him at all or like didn't had the chance to because as soon as I said that I wanted to speak with him about us he was literally shaking of anger and throw me out of his room with my things. That's why I'm staying at the guest room. I would have gone home but I told my parents that I will stay here and beside I don't want to die yet. What if those creepy guys followed us here or I meet them when I go home now? I am already dying but I still want to do the things I want to do before I go. Well it's more like one thing.

Getting my sweet and caring childhood friend back.

Even if it will take me as long as I live, I still want to get along with him like before.

Well I haven't been honest until now.

Every time I see him, my heart is beating like crazy. My body is heating up and I get a bit nervous around him. Well, that's understanding. I mean, come on! Imagine a sexy and hot boy standing in front of you! He's definitely a 100!

You all know what I mean, right? I'm sure everyone or more like most of you surely saw a group of boys on the street and started searching for the hottest one. If not then try it. It's really funny and you won't be disappointed.

I would like to know what I started to feel there. Am I attracted to him? Or did I fell for him? Or is it non of them and I just feel like having him as a friend? Well I don't know. I said that I loved him when we were kids but that's something different from today.

I just don't know why I'm feeling like this when he's near. I swear, my life is so confusing. Why can't it be so simple?

*******

~Next day~

I woke sweating hard and breathing heavily. I sat up in my bed getting dizzy and my sight was all blurry. I felt my heart pounding hard against my chest painfully.

"Shit..." I breathed out.

I searched for my necklace but couldn't find it. I thought for a bit before I realised where I had forgotten it.

In Blake's bathroom.

I started to panic but soon realised that everything would only get worser. I tried to calm my breathing and closed my eyes.

Surprisingly it helped me. The pain was fading away and my heart wasn't hurting anymore.

"I'm so stupid..." I mumbled to myself.

This was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. Seems like I overdid it yesterday...

I sighed before I slowly stood up and made my way to the bathroom to get ready.

I never thought of how it would feel like to die. I only thought about surviving year after year. Sure, I was scared of it because it's a normal reaction. I mean, how would you act when one day your parents tell you that you won't live long?

Soon I realised that I couldn't escape my fate. I only tried to spend it with my family as much as I can.

When my mother found about my illness she cried and cried every day and night along with my father and brother when I had to stay in hospital. They thought that they would lose me everytime I was delivered in hospital which was quiet often. It was hard for me to catch up with school but with the help of my family, I made it through middle school.

As I finished getting ready for school, I looked at the time and realised that it was only 6 a.m. I still had enough time so I silently went to the kitchen passing Blake's room. I could hear a light snore from his room and couldn't help but chuckle quietly.

When I reached the kitchen I thought about making breakfast. I opened some cabinets and took everything out I needed for blueberry pancakes. They are my favorites.

When I finished cooking, I put two pancakes on my plate and some syrup and sat down. Some people would drink coffee every morning but I don't. I'm not one of those people who drinks coffee every morning. I tried once or twice but never again because I don't really like the taste. I only drink water. I know, sad right? Other people would drink juice or cocoa but I only drink water. Of course I also drink coke and ice tea etc. but not that often.

It was so silent in the house. I was a bit lonely while eating breakfast because I'm used to eat with my family breakfast, sometimes lunch and dinner. It has been like that since forever.

After I finished eating, I put my plate into the sink and washed it. I looked at another plate which was filled with pancakes. Then I remembered something. Blake also likes blueberry pancakes. Well I don't know if he still does but when we were younger, he always wanted blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

I smiled at the memories but my smile fell when I reality hit me. He hates me now.

Shaking my head lightly I went upstairs and stood in front of Blake's room.

Should I wake him up? What if he only gets mad at me even more? What if doesn't want to get woke up?

After thinking a while I finally knocked at his door three times. He didn't answer. I sighed and took my bag before I just left for school.

I was about to cry. I don't even know why. I was just sad.

I'm trying my hardest to get close to Blake again. I want to tell him everything. But I don't even know if I should tell him about it. Even if I explain everything he wouldn't really care, right?

He's pushing me away. Everytime I try to get closer he would push me away again.

I'm sorry for leaving him behind. It's my fault that he turned into someone he isn't. So basically everything that happened between us is my fault.

Him hating me.

Him being a player.

Him being the 'bad boy'.

Him pushing me away.

Him forgetting me.

It's all my fault.

Now I feel like I really deserve having a short life. I now know that I deserved having this heart.

It's a punishment and I will gladly accept it.