The Consequences {Jacob Black}

Chapter XXXIV

I had expected Jake to push me away as soon as he noticed Bella standing in the doorway. I mean, he hadn't seen Bella since she'd been standing in the house with Alice before we went to Italy. And despite the fact that I was losing my head after just kissing him, I still expected him to shove me away.

I guess that's the problem with changing a relationship you've had for so long. I knew Jake like I knew the road from Forks to La Push. I knew that he loved me, it just wasn't the same as what he felt for Bella. So when Jake's arms tightened around me a little more, I was confused. 

"I thought you said that you'd always be there for me," Bella said.

I could see that she was guilt tripping Jake, a blind monkey could see that. And Jake would probably eat out of the palm of her hand. It was hard to ignore her big brown eyes when she looked at you like a deer caught in the headlights. The problem was that I wanted to shoot that damn dear.

"You made a choice, Bella. You chose Edward," Jake said. "He'll be there for you."

"But you're my best friend, Jake," she insisted.

"I will always be your friend, Bella, but that is all that we will ever be," Jake said just as stubbornly.

"But at the movie theaters, Jake, you-"

"You made your decision, Bella.'

"But-"

"You hungry Annie?"

I nodded and Jake dragged me down the stairs, his hand wrapped tightly around me. Jake was running from Bella? He was pulling me towards the door when I finally put up some resistance. 

"I promised my dad that I would leave the house," I said quietly. Jake growled. "What's wrong?"

"I can't just ignore the things that she's done."

"Jake, you've been in love with her-" I started, telling him that it would obviously hurt that she had chosen his mortal enemy but he interrupted me.

"No, I haven't. I thought I was but it was only a crush and that's not what I'm talking about," he said. He looked up at the stairs, seeing Bella's little frame standing in the hallway. Jake's hand was on my elbow, tugging gently and insistently. Once we were in the kitchen, he turned me to him. 

"I don't care that Bella made the decision to go back to Edward. I know that you don't believe that, but I promise you that I don't.

What I care about is you. That's what I can't ignore. I can't just forget about the fact that she forced you to go for an all day hike, one that she'd already tried with me to find a meadow, and put you within inches of a leech. She pulled you off the face of a cliff with her because she wanted to die. I don't care if she swears it wasn't suicide; it was homicide to pull you with her. She forced you to go to Italy, to a city run by vampires."

He was shaking, his arms gripping the counter top. "You can't just expect me to forget that, Annie."

"I don't expect you to forget, Jake. But you have to stop fixating; trust me you'll regret it."

"It's not the simple, Rye."

"If I can do it, I know you can. Because trust me Jake, forgetting isn't something you can just do. Trust me, I can't just forget the feel of that man's breath on my neck or the color of his eyes. I can't forget how cold the water was when I hit it or how quickly it go into my lungs. I can't forget how helpless I felt when Murphy had me pinned me underneath him. I can't forget how scared I was of that little vampire when she was staring at me. But I can stop fixating, Jake."