II: Ni

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Every time I look at Ryuu, he makes me nervous. Even though we have known each other since the day he first came into this world of blood and death, childhood friends if I could call it anything, he still makes something in me scream to escape.

It isn't that I'm afraid of him. The only thing he would ever intentionally hurt, or rather the only person, is someone threatening our clan. It is the way that every samurai, not just those of the Amachi clan, is trained. Clan above the safety of oneself.

This has become even more important since the day war was declared among all the clans. It has become everyone's duty, but most especially Ryuu's, to protect me, their lord. The lord that could lead them well in battle but hides who she truly is behind her clothing and deeper-pitched voice.

Sometimes I wonder how no one has figured out what I truly am, and then I see Ryuu's gaze boring into me. How much does he truly suspect?

Unlike my fellow samurai, I have never undressed, bathed, urinated, or any such action in front of an audience. Several of those things have been dismissed because of who I am among the clan, but it doesn't stop all the rumors from circulating.

Then I just had to announce that I wouldn't be marrying to my council, which accounts for the silence and narrow-eyed stares that I'm standing in the middle of right now.

"You're dooming the Amachi clan, " Lord Motome Taro, the straightforward one of the group, states. "To leave the clan without a leader in the event of your death would ensure the fall of your legacy and your forefathers'."

His statement starts the room ablaze with words being fired across the council. I sit in the midst of the chaos calmly absorbing the differing opinions. Some say that I'm still young, and my fickle mind will change when I meet the right woman. Others insist that I must marry now before the war claims my life like that of so many other samurai.

Ryuu, my insanely stone-faced general (excepting the times when he is baiting me), is the only one not standing and arguing about my decision. Instead, he sits with his arms crossed and dark amber eyes staring at me like he can see into the depths of my soul.

Something in my stomach flutters slightly at the look in his eyes, but I can't identify what it is. Uncomfortable, I dart my eyes away to find my two youngest retainers almost at blows.

Needing to defuse the situation before it becomes worse, I jump to my feet and bellow, "I understand your concerns. However, it does not seem prudent to wed in a time of war. Even if I took a wife, there is no guarantee that an heir would be produced. You may still be left without a leader if I fall in battle."

"We best make sure Lord Junichi does not die then if he's so dead set against marriage," Lord Taro says with a wary smile, and the older man winks at me as everyone retakes their seat. "We were fortunate last time that our former lord's only child was a son, and he was quite competent to take up his father's sword."

I incline my head slightly to him, respecting that he had defended my unconventional stance, but the word son still doesn't sit right even after all these years. Especially now that I'm no longer a child and it becomes harder and harder to hide the truth. "Thank you, Lord Taro. Now, can I get a report on the progression of the training of our new samurai?"

Ryuu stands from his seat and fixes his gaze on me again. "The oldest among them will be ready when the news of the next battle reaches us. Each have mastered the skills necessary to survive that which will likely be thrown their way."

"Very good, Ryuu. That's the sort of news I like to hear."

He nods and returns to his seat, eyes still unnervingly locked on mine. To break away from his gaze, I look over my assembled retainers and silently sigh. "We have fought many a battle in the past year. Each of you have proven that you have the right to sit at this table many a time. We may have a long ways to go before we may lay down our weapons in an age of peace, but I am proud of you and your representation of the Amachi clan."

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