Chapter Twenty-Five

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Please note, I've barely been to the hospital before and as far back as I can remember, I've never slept in a hospital bed/woken up from fainting in a hospital/visited a sick relative in hospital/been any further than having my temperature checked in the hospital, so yeah, sorry for any inaccuracies!

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I awoke with a start. The world was a blur in front of me. I smelt disinfectant and soap. I could barely keep my eyes open, and it was like someone had set a heavy rock on me because I could hardly move. I took a deep breath in, and my whole body was battered with pain. Giving up on attempting to move, I tried to open my eyes to focus on my whereabouts. Based on the fact that I was so tired, and everything hurt, it was pretty hard to force my eyes open, but I wanted to know where I was.

I slowly became more awake, and although the crisp sheets of my bed were beckoning me back to sleep, I started hearing the beep-beep of a monitor, and people's footsteps rushing around, and visions of white and blue. And then everything came into slight focus, and I could see the wires that I was apparently hooked up to, and the people in blue gowns whisking by with stethoscopes, and little girls clutching onto their dad's hands, and out of the corner of my eye, countless flowers by me.

In fact, this didn't even feel like my bed. It smelt funny and felt funny and wasn't soft like my sheets, but hard and white.

I was wondering why my mum had somehow remade my bed or something, when it clicked.

I was in a hospital.

A hospital.

And then I remembered everything. The note, the crying, the scissors, the fields, the frost, the tree. Levi. Jumping.

I didn't die.

I didn't know if that was a bad thing or not.

Natural instinct told me to attempt to sit up, and I did, but then felt an unbearable pain in my entire body. I tried to scream, but whilst lying back down again, my voice stopped working and I had a coughing fit, which shook my whole body, which hurt so much.

This brought a group of nurses to my bedside, and a literal cry of, "Lexi, oh my God, you're alive, sweetie, you're awake, oh sweetheart, why did you do it?"

My mum.

I shut my eyes again, being too tired to concentrate. There was fiddling with tubes, checks on monitors, writing on paper and then a light being flashed into my closed eyelids. And I just wanted to rest, take a break, and stay like this until I died, but they didn't stop attempting to give me a seizure.

"Lexi? Lexi? Can you hear me?"

I groaned inside my head, and tried to blank out all thoughts.

"Lexi? Are you awake? Could you please respond, if you are?"

Sigh. I'd rather not face life again. Being out of reality was the bliss I had always wanted, and if I couldn't die, I'd rather live in this semi-consciousness for as long as I could. I knew I'd eventually get woken up, but to be honest, I just couldn't be bothered right now.

"Lexi?" They continued to turn a light on and off, seeing how irritated I could get with that. I couldn't really turn over, since I was hooked up to so much that if I attempted to move, everything hurt, and I had had enough pain. I was just going to sleep. It was their fault if they killed me with a seizure or something.

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