Anything For Rachel

Calvin.

Fifty hours since Pedro's confirmation that she is returning.

Fifty hours for me to get my head on straight.

Fifty hours for me to ready myself for seeing her again, but even a hundred and fifty hours couldn't do that.

"Rachel." I whispered to myself in the backseat of the SUV, not giving a damn if my driver thinks I'm a lunatic. She's coming back, and that is all that I can focus my mind on.

My phone rang in my hand, and I quickly answered, awaiting news of her movements.

"Octavia?" I said quickly.

"Your majesty." She crooned back. "Everyone is moving on the timetable we set out."

"Very good." I nodded. "I want to be alerted personally when Pedro checks into the first check point." I told her. "I don't care what I'm doing, or what time it is, I need to hear from him myself so that I know what their progress is."

"I understand." Octavia agreed.

Within another two hours or so, Pedro and Rose should be arriving at the first checkpoint on their way to the safe house. I know I have probably driven both Pedro and Octavia mad with demands of how specifically I want this all handled, but that is my flesh and blood that he is transporting, and I need to know her every movement. I have to keep her safe, no matter the cost, I will do whatever it takes.

"And Rachel?" I asked.

Octavia paused. I don't like that. I hate when people do that, it means they are thinking of what to say, which means they are either figuring how to give bad news, or they're lying. "Her plane landed on time, but I have to inform you of a small hiccup."

I balled my hand into a fist. "What hiccup?"

"She's coming, and she should be arriving within twenty minutes behind you, but...Sir, she isn't alone."

My eyes went dark.

I knew what that meant.

Of course I had expected this could be a possibility, but I had hoped that...

I don't deserve to hope for anything other than hers and Rose's safety.

Pedro has watched after Rachel and Rose for me, and I always knew he was very careful of what he told me. I have suspected that there may be another for a while now, just a hint in Pedro's tone with me, or his carefully evasive answers to my questions. I never expected Rachel to never move on from me. I made my choices. I knew in choosing to give her up, that that meant I was giving her up for a better life, and a better love.

"Thank you for letting me know, Octavia." I said curtly. "I will see you shortly."

I placed my phone on the seat beside me carefully, although I wanted to smash it into twelve billion tiny little pieces. My eyes wandered over to the outrageously large bouquet of red roses I had on the seat on my opposite side.

I'd been stupid to see anything in her returning other than a chance to protect her safety and freedom. I should have known better than to let myself hope...

I shut out my thoughts, staring coolly ahead at the crowd of guards awaiting her arrival.

Good, they are following their orders.

I let myself out of the car and walked briskly through the crowd, leaving the flowers, and ignoring all of the bows as I passed.

I met Octavia at the fountain and she knew me well enough not to try to carry conversation with me right now. I'm sure my disappointment is rolling off of me.

1,228 seconds later and I could hear the tires on the gravel.

I stood up, tucking the stray edge of my white button down into my black pants.

"Somethings wrong." I muttered.

"What?" Octavia asked, her arched eyebrows going even higher.

I closed my eyes. I could hear the frantic beat of her heart in the car. Too loud. Too fast.

"She's having a panic attack." I heard a man's voice I don't know say.

"She needs me." I whispered. I wanted to run to her, rip the door off of the car and hold her to me, brushing her hair away from her face until her breathing steadied and the panic left her.

The car pulled in fast, the door swinging open.

I could hear her breaths. They were too fast, and too short. I needed to see her. I needed to be sure she's alright. I took a step forward, but I stopped as I watched a man slide out of the car. He was tall, lean, blonde, and by any account attractive. His hand was wrapped around hers.

Hers.

She stepped out of the car, her eyes wide, frantic. She looked terrified. Of course she was. She's been forced back here again.

"She's not breathing enough." I snapped angrily. "Get them to back off of her, she needs space!"

The guards were crowding around her, and it was making it worse.

The man looked down at her, obvious affection in his eyes. His eyes, on hers. His hand, in hers.

He reached down and lifted her up, and she clung to him, holding him like she used to hold me. I wanted to go to them. To stop him and demand he tell me if he knows how lucky he is to be the man she is holding onto. Does he understand the power of the woman he is holding in his arms? Does he know the biggest mistake he could ever make in all of eternity is to mess up and lose her?

She looked so frail. Not like the demanding, endlessly frustrating, and strong woman she was when she left here. Did forcing her back into this life...my life...do this to her? Or had I broken her a long time ago? Had Pedro lied to me all these years? What have I done to her?

I could feel Octavia's eyes on me, but I couldn't look away. I couldn't stop listening to her ragged breaths, or her pounding heart. Octavia rushed away, opening the crowd around her.

"Rachel." I whispered to myself, but I sucked in a breath and stopped breathing at all when her big beautiful crystal blue eyes caught mine.

The world stopped. I'm sure of it. For a moment, the world stopped spinning on her axis, the only two people who existed anymore were me and her. Her lips parted as she watched me, the weight of her stare building me up and tearing me down all at once.

The crowd closed back around her, keeping her from seeing me anymore. I listened, her breathing regulating, her heart slowing.

"She needs me." The man said to Octavia and I bowed my head. Is that true? Does she have someone else that she needs? That means she doesn't need...

I looked back, watching as she insisted on being put down. He placed her on her feet, and she looked up into his eyes, before he placed his hand on the small of her perfect back, leading her forward. He loved her, it was clear, and she loved him too. I'd recognize that look in her eyes anywhere.

I moved away quickly, hiding within the crowd.

What had I done? I sent her away for some other man to discover. Another man to watch her, care for her, touch her, to love her. All of those things were for me to do, not him. I'd given her up. Hell, I think I did it for the right reasons, but dammit. Is doing the right thing always worth this fucking pain in the end?

How could I have let another man have my wife?

I had to remind myself as I followed behind the crowd, her scent lingering in the air all around me, that she wasn't mine anymore. She hasn't been mine since I had her drugged and driven away. My choices, not hers. I'd done this.

I am the monster I always feared.