Star Wars Imagines/Preferences

{Gone} - Kylo Ren

Word count : 1189 words

Ben had been my best friend. He had been with me ever since we were little children and until we had grown up to young adults. He always knew when and how to make me smile and laugh no matter what the situation was. He made my days a hundred times better without him ever truly doing anything but it didn't matter. He was my best friend forever, no matter how cheesy it sounded.

Given time, we would have become something more than friends. Everyone knew that except Ben and I. At times, it amazed me how oblivious he was. I was madly in love with him but I guess he never realized it. There would be many times that I'd consider telling him my true feelings and getting it over with. There was nothing more I wanted than to kiss him and be his.

Nonetheless, whenever I'd say "I love you, Ben", he'd reply back with "Love you too, (Y/N)." I would almost sigh dejectedly, knowing that he only said it to me in a friendly way. To him, I was like the sister he never had. Confessing my falling in love with him would ruin the long term friendship we had and I couldn't do that.

When Leia, Ben's mother, had told me that he was gone, I couldn't understand her. Ben, Ben Solo,-the most caring, compassionate, sweet man I had ever known and had been so madly in love with,- had turned into a monster. But no, it wasn't Ben. I knew it wasn't Ben. It was the form he had decided to take with a new name under it- Kylo Ren.

I was heartbroken but I didn't let my thoughts cloud my days. Ben was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. Nonetheless, I found a new family under the Resistance. I was accepted and loved by them which was all I could ever ask for from the people I grew to trust as my family.

I spent my days alongside Leia who had always treated me as if she was my mother which I was grateful for. She was the only one that knew what I went through and understood it.

I kept myself in hiding from the infamous Kylo Ren. I didn't want to know or see him and could care less about whatever he was doing. This sentiment heightened when I found out that this monster murdered my parents. My parents who had done nothing but love Ben and care for him. That was when I knew Ben was truly gone.

I never thought I was going to have the same monster who killed my parents, his father, thousands of innocent lives, as well as who broke my heart standing right in front of me. The man had a mask over his face which made his voice draw out in a monotone and emotionless tone. He dressed in all black and my eyes wandered down to his lightsaber which hanged by his side.

I was stupid. For once, I had decided to be the one in charge of a mission to retain information from the First Order. Although I had successfully sent the information to Leia, I was caught. Weirdly, I had no care for being caught by the First Order. What had me on edge was to be seeing Kylo Ren for the first time. Thankfully, I could see a ship nearby and for some reason, Kylo Ren was alone.

"You're not as intimidating as the stories that I've heard." I said, breaking the silence and with a small smirk

"Mockery won't help you, rebel scum." The man said

My smirk widened,"It isn't mockery. I'd like to know why everyone's so afraid of you."

Kylo Ren brandished his lightsaber and held it close to my throat but I just rolled my eyes and smirked," Must you always resort to your lightsaber when you're frustrated with someone? Quite childish if you ask me."

He came close to me and I was suddenly choking as if a hand was around me and strangling me, preventing me from breathing.

"Must someone always shut you up? Your snarky comments won't serve you well here." The monotone voice said before I was thrown on the ground and was finally breathing again, heaving and trying to go back to normal as he backed away and watched me

"Kill me like you killed all those other innocents. Like you killed my parents. I'd like to see that. The way you tortured them as they begged you to stop and let them go free." I seethed, my eyes glaring at him

"As tempting as that sounds, Supreme Leader Snoke wants you for information. I am intent on sending him that intel."

"A messenger boy. You went from training to become a Jedi and downgraded to being a messenger boy. What a nice story."

I watched as he tensed up and turned around from me. I counted up to twenty until he turned back around.

"I am no messenger boy. The dark side has made me more powerful than the Jedi could ever. Don't you ever speak to me like that. You should fear and respect me." He said

"I cannot respect a coward." I told him

I watched as the monster took his mask off and I held back a gasp as I saw the face of the man I had once loved. He was still as handsome as ever with his wavy dark brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, and full lips. His eyes were filled with remorse, hatred, guilt, and sadness.

That was probably why he had the mask. So that no one could see what he was truly feeling inside. But I knew. I knew him. This was Ben. Ben who was scared of the world. Ben who didn't understand his purpose. Ben. The man I used to love.

He looked at me with a hard set on his face," A coward? If anything, you are. Of course you needed Leia's protection so you had to join the Resistance."

I narrowed my eyes at him," The Resistance and your mother have been there for me ever since the moment you left me. However, if you want to continue discussing about who the coward here is, let me speak. You left you family, your friends, me for apparently having an attraction to the dark side which is just a load of bullshit because you couldn't handle the teachings that Luke gave you. You had a great life and you just threw it away in a moment. You murdered my parents! You know what pain that made me go through?! What's even worst is the amount of people you've killed. Innocent people! I had once been in love with Ben Solo but he is gone! You're just a monster with his body. I hate you!" I shouted at him angrily

I saw a bit of shock and hurt in his eyes but he quickly masked it over with anger," You're right. Ben Solo is gone. He will never return again." He said simply