Dead or Alive

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"Caleb's been found," Colin repeated, his breath heavy with the tang of whiskey. His words intoxicated me, made my knees buckle. Had he not gripped my shoulders, I would have crumpled to the floor.

"Dead or alive?"

When he didn't answer right away, I repeated my words, shrieked them, and Colin spoke over me.

"Alive. Alive!" Colin shook me again, and when he released me, I stumbled and caught the island counter to steady myself. My husband was coming back.

To me.

Alive.

Charlotte wailed even louder, and I felt a visceral need to hold her close, to inhale the smell of her baby shampoo because it might be the only thing that could calm my pounding heart.

"Where? How? What happened?" I hoisted Charlotte out of her high chair and spoke in staccato while crossing the living room and sinking onto the sofa. I tried to soothe her cries by rubbing her back, but I was sobbing just as hard. We were both slobbering messes. I fought the urge to laugh and scream and throw up all at once. A fresh cry bloomed in my chest, and then I exhaled, tears and more tears flowing down my face.

Alive.

Colin paced. "It's the most incredible fucking story. I can't believe it, Emma."

"Where is he now? When is he coming home?" My voice bordered on shrill. "Please sit down. You're making me tense. Is he hurt?"

Colin kept pacing, ratcheting up my anxiety. "He was found in a small town in the Brazilian jungle. It was kind of a...uh, hospital. He'd been in another medical center in the town for months, and then they moved him to this other facility."

I shook my head, incredulous. "Kind of a hospital? What? So he's hurt? What happened to him?"

Colin stopped moving. "He's not physically hurt, not anymore."

Just then, the elevator bell dinged and Sarah and Laura poured into the room. Fresh tears flowed, and Laura wrapped her arms around Colin. She turned to hug me, her blue eyes bright and her voice a touch too loud. "Dad and Mom are on their way to Brazil to get Caleb. If everything goes well, they'll be here in seventy-two hours."

Wordlessly, I passed Charlotte to her. I lifted my legs so my heels dug into the sofa and wrapped my arms around my knees, curling into a ball. I rocked back and forth. Months of pent-up anxiety dissolved and tears washed over me because our nightmare was almost over.

Alive.

He was coming home to our daughter and me.

It took fifteen long minutes to stop sobbing, and another half-hour to settle Charlotte into her crib

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It took fifteen long minutes to stop sobbing, and another half-hour to settle Charlotte into her crib. There were so many questions, but I wanted to ask them without a bawling baby in the background. I also wasn't sure what to ask first, my shock was so great.

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