26| Cinnamon Rolls

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"A rainbow only appears after a storm

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"A rainbow only appears after a storm."

At least that was what one of the inspirational posters hanging up in the backroom promised in bright, bold letters. It was difficult to look away from since it was directly in front of me while I prepped. I couldn't escape its sugary message. I read and reread the poster so many times it was practically burnt into my memory. Everything from the cheesy rainbow landing into a pot of gold, to the rain clouds with frowny-faces on them, it was all I could see. Originally, I bought the poster because it was only fifty-five cents, and it reminded me of a scene from "The Fault in Our Stars," so it helped me with the grieving process of that depressing movie. But now, I felt like it was mocking me.

After the hellish storm I went through this weekend, I was prepared to find some sort of rainbow out of all of it. Of course, the love and support Gage and I received when we returned home was soothing, but it wasn't enough. It couldn't erase everything that we went through and lost. I searched for some kind of "rainbow" since the day we returned home, preferably another contest, even if I wasn't exactly emotionally ready. Still, I tried. The only problem was all the major competitions were next year, which was when Gage's debt was due. Any upcoming contests only had small cash prizes that wouldn't make a dent in the debt. So basically, we were back to square one.

I almost debated on just joining the contests anyway, but what was the point? Lamar couldn't keep running the bakery while I ran away to try to win useless money. Plus, Gage couldn't go. He already used up his "time off" days, which despite what we originally thought, he greatly suffered for when we returned. Because of this, he's been in matches back-to-back to make up for the lost time and money. Including tonight, which was why Lamar and I had to close the store by ourselves.

Every night Gage came home with a fresh set of wounds and every night I would quietly bandage him back up as I drowned in guilt. It was my fault that he had to keep doing this. He could have won the prize money and been out of his debt, but because of my parents, who I am more than positive had a hand in our defeat, he's stuck.

Sometimes late at night, I wonder what would have happened if things went differently. Where would we be now if I had just listened to my mother? To Finch? What if I had made those cherry turnovers? Would I be back running my bakery like right now? Or would they stick to their word and try to drag me home? But most importantly, I wonder if Gage gave the winning money to Sparrow, would he truly be free? Would they actually let him go?

"Katy?" a voice nearby called out.

Gage doesn't think so. Regardless of all the hell he's been going through the past few days, he is still certain that I made the right choice. That everything will be okay and we can find another way to end all of this. I wanted to believe him so badly, and sometimes I did, but for the most part, I worried. I worried to the point where I could hardly eat and when I went to work, I busied myself more than normal to keep myself distracted. I blared uplifting music and kept my head high, although I could feel myself slowly sinking further and further.

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