Chapter 1

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POV - Sarah

Warnings: Fighting, Yelling, Depression

Word Count: 2504

*Note: If you had read EVERY PART OF MY 250 FOLLOWER SPECIAL YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING IN THE PART ABOUT ELLEN AND ME! So, don't say anything about the fact that I didn't announce it because I did. In my own subtle way. 

Also, a special thank you to universe_of_stars who made my cover, once again. You are amazing and I love you! Thank you so much!!!

*Updated Authors Note: January 1, 2020: So this is my New Year's Pledge, to finish all the stories that I have started. That does not mean there will be anything new unless I get inspired, but I make no promises. For now, though, I am going to focus on this story and give everyone who has been waiting so patiently the ending you have desired, (or not). I don't know how many parts this is going to be but I know what I want to do with this story. The beginning is going to be the same as I had it before, for the first few chapters anyway, it may change over time, you are just gonna have to wait and see. 

So sit back, grab your tissues, say your prayers, and get ready for the torture.

-Begin Chapter-

Have you ever noticed that when you are happy, time just flies by and so do your memories? There in one instance and then gone with the next, leaving just the feeling to remain. Then when you are sad, it slows down to a crawl, the memories stronger, the sadness overtaking everything, leaving you aching. Sometimes, it is even worse. Like when everything you know and love is gone and your world is crashing down, time itself has no pace, it just...moves but it doesn't at the same time. The pain and memories overriding everything, even rational thought. It all hurts so much and it just won't go away, getting worse and worse with each second and there is nothing that can be done to stop it….

Nothing.

POV : Sarah

Time since kidnapping: 27 Days

This last month has been such a blur, bits sticking out more than others, the bad moments adding to my heavy heart and the good times just fading away. I felt like I was breaking into a million pieces but I couldn't do anything about it, I had to hold it all together, the boys needed me. I had to hold myself together so they could fall apart.

Landon, for example, has pulled himself away from everyone moved into the bedroom of the flat that was inside the Sidemen house, never coming out for anything. Every day I am at the house, I make sure that he eats something and has regular baths. I end up having to treat him like a child and actually bathe him myself. Normally, I would have been all shy and embarrassed at even thinking of the idea but I was so numb that it didn't bother me. I just knew I had to do it, I had to keep him going, for his sake. Landon never speaks to me when I come to check on him. I can normally find him lying on the bed or sitting in the chair by the window, staring blankly out at the world that kept moving by while he was frozen. 

There is one weird thing I have noticed with Landon, he always has his phone near him, even though he never uses it. At least not while I am around. It doesn't matter where he is in the room or if it was his bath time, the brown-haired boy always had his phone within arms reach. I didn't understand why, I even tried to ask him about it, but the young boy always remained silent, lost in his own world of pain and suffering. 

Callux and Cal had not been faring well either. Both of them were currently at the Tower, neither making any attempt to leave or do anything productive, such as making videos. Instead, they relied on delivery and Manny to get what they needed. At least I didn't have to make sure they ate and bathed as I did with Landon, they could handle that thankfully, or well, Manny made sure they did anyway. I did have to make sure they didn't kill each other though. 

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