Unlimited || Bucky Barnes

The Hug

It was getting late and my whole body was heavy, filled with dread, top to bottom. Nighttime meant sleeping, and sleeping meant dreaming, and dreaming meant something bad could happen-would happen.

Bucky and I sat on the couch quietly watching the first season of Friends. He seemed to really enjoy it. He'd let out a chuckle every once and awhile, but less than I did because I realized he didn't get half the jokes.

I slumped back and drifted off, my eyelids starting to get heavy as the windows gradually darkened the room.

I jolted myself awake. I can't sleep. I won't sleep.

It was absurd, but maybe I could try never sleeping again? Yeah, just live on coffee and jitter like a squirrel, day and night. At least that way I know I'm somewhat in control of myself.

We kept going. One episode. Two. Three. Six? Ten? He must really like this show.

With every episode I wanted to drift off more and more. But with each slow blink I pinched myself and told myself no.

Bucky took notice of my constant flinching and adjustment on the couch.

"Are you tired? Because if you're tired I can-"

"No. I'm not tired," I yawned.

"You may be able to read minds, but you're a terrible liar. Come on let's go," he stood up in front of me.

"No, Bucky. I'm not going to bed," I rubbed my eyes, obviously not hiding the fact that I was indeed tired.

"Darby, look at you. Your eyes are bloodshot, you've had a long day. I know you want to," he reassured in a calming voice.

"No Bucky. I mean, yes, I want to but," I hesitated, "I can't."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm right here-"

"I know, and that's the problem. If I have another nightmare, who knows what would happen? I could break something or, or I could kill you, heck, I could take this whole building down without batting and eyelid, and I can't take that chance of hurting anymore people. I just...can't," I whispered, my eyes getting all watery again. Is there someway to get your eye ducts removed? If there was, I probably would do that.

"Oh Darby," he sat next to me, our knees almost touching. "You need to get out of your own head. You need to relax-"

"But how Bucky? How can I relax knowing that I could destroy everything around me at any given moment? I don't know what could set me off," I cried.

He paused and seemed to just watch me sob like a hopeless child. I could use one of dad's jokes or some of mom's hot chocolate right about now.

"Whatever happened with Dr. Banner before was different than now. He wanted to see your full potential, and that's what happened. You are dangerous Darby, I won't lie. But that doesn't mean that you have to be," he looked deep in my eyes. It was hard to focus on him, given that my eyes were covered in a glassy layer of tears.

"I know this is an extreme risk," he hesitated, "but I know you need an extreme solution," he mumbled, about to lunge towards me.

"No, Bucky, don't-"

I couldn't get the words out fast enough before his arms were around my shoulders and my ear was against his chest.

"Bucky, let me go, I don't want to hurt you," I whimpered.

"Ah, but if you really wanted to hurt me, you would have already," he grinned, pulling me in closer. "I told you, you just need to relax."

I counted my breaths. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. I could feel myself calm down, my legs relaxed and my hands unclenched. It was almost like Bucky knew I had an off button and understood exactly how to push it.

I slowly crept my hands back towards my body and placed them around Bucky. With every inhale, I memorized his scent. I took out a brain file and wrote down every little thing about him. The way his skin felt against mine, the way he breathed slower than I did, how fast his heart beat in his chest, the way his whiskers felt scraping against the top of my head. Everything.

"See? The mirrors are still intact, the building is still standing, and I'm not dead," he hummed. I could feel the vibration of his voice thump through his chest and jolt through mine.

"How did you know nothing would happen?" I whispered, trying to wipe the tears off my cheek.

"I didn't."